Paul Keatings, 42, took to the road for the first time in a powerful Subura Impreza while out with a friend.
He drove for less than a mile in New Lanark before he came within inches of knocking down a pedestrian then smashed into a boulder at the entrance to the New Lanark Mill Hotel.
Keatings appeared at Lanark Sheriff Court, where he admitted driving dangerously through blindness.
He also admitted driving without insurance and with only a provisional licence, which he gained before he turned almost completely blind due to a congenital eye condition in his twenties.
Brian Gillon, 33, admitted allowing a person unfit through blindness and with no insurance to drive the car.
Keatings, of Wishaw, North Lanarkshire, said: "I was going slow and my friend had his hand on the wheel and was telling me where to go. But the next thing I knew we had hit a huge rock.
"I know it was a really silly thing to do and I'm sorry."
Deferring sentence for background reports, Sheriff Nikola Stewart said: "I need to know what on earth caused these people to behave in this utterly ridiculous manner."