Former News International chief executive Rebekah Brooks laid bare her "car crash" personal life as she gave evidence about the inner workings of the News of the World.
The 45-year-old became emotional as she was questioned by her QC about her relationships with former EastEnders actor Ross Kemp, her former deputy Andy Coulson and her current husband Charlie Brooks, and her fertility struggles.
She also yesterday denied any knowledge of a £92,000 contract for private investigator and phone hacker Glenn Mulcaire, as her trial at the Old Bailey continued.
Ms Brooks met Kemp in 1995, and they became engaged the following year but split in 1997.
A year later they re-kindled their relationship, and by 2001 they talked about children and marriage.
Ms Brooks, 45, appeared to become tearful as she asked for a break before talking about her fertility treatment, which was halted by the start of the Iraq war in 2003. She said: "It was a tough year for us. Basically, life was put on hold for Iraq."
The court heard that the couple eventually had an amicable split.
Ms Brooks said: "I am sure if Ross was here, he would say the same. Our whole relationship was a rollercoaster, and so sometimes it was good, sometimes it was not so."
She admitted periods of "physical intimacy" between 1998 and 2006 with Mr Coulson, one year before she met Mr Brooks. Ms Brooks said: "My personal life was a bit of a car crash for many years. It's probably very easy to blame work, but the hours were very long and hard and you got thrown together in an industry like that. It was wrong and it shouldn't have happened, but things did.
"Ross was a good man but the two of us weren't meant to be and certainly Andy and I weren't meant to be. When I met Charlie I was happy for the first time."
Asked by her QC Jonathan Laidlaw if she knew anything about Mulcaire's contract with the News of the World, she replied "No, not at all."
Brooks admitted that, as editor, an expense as big as that should have been run past her for approval. The court has heard it is claimed the contract was organised by former news editor Greg Miskiw, who has pleaded guilty to conspiring to hack phones.
Ms Brooks said in the early years she was only authorised to sign off £50,000 for payments.
Mr Laidlaw asked her: "Was that arrangement that Miskiw had come to with Mulcaire drawn to your attention?"
Brooks replied: "No, it wasn't."
Brooks, of Churchill, Oxfordshire, denies conspiring to hack phones, conspiring to commit misconduct in public office, and conspiring to cover up evidence to pervert the course of justice.
She revealed David Beckham was paid £1 million for his autobiography and there were deals with PR guru Max Clifford and Big Brother contestants. Discussing payments to contributors, including one to Mulcaire's alias Paul Williams for a story about James Bulger's killers, Ms Brooks said she did not know he was the source.
She said: "I know I didn't hear the name Glenn Mulcaire until he was arrested."
Ms Brooks said the Countess of Wessex wrote apologies to figures including Tony and Cherie Blair and William Hague after being "particularly mean" about them in comments made during an undercover sting by the paper.
Ms Brooks, Mr Coulson, 46; former News of the World royal editor Clive Goodman, 56; the newspaper's former managing editor Stuart Kuttner, 73; Brooks's former assistant Cheryl Carter, 49; Mr Brooks, 50; and News International head of security Mark Hanna, 50; deny all charges.
The trial continues.
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