Husband has to travel 80 miles to see sick wife in care home

There are no places suitable in their home city of Inverness, so after a fall in which she broke her hip, Mrs McInally was given a place in a residential care home in Grantown-on-Spey. Mr McInally was told the situation would be temporary, but it has now endured for nine months.

Since January, he has had to make the drive twice a week, but is unable to simply drop in or respond quickly if his wife has an accident. The pain of being apart is hard to bear, he says, especially as his wife has limited time left.

Mr McInally has been told there are homes closer to him that might "eventually" be able to meet his wife's needs, but they do not have any vacancies.

"At the present rate of progress 'eventually' equates with crematorium," he joked. "All I ask is for a local placement where we can be more together for what precious moments are left."

Not all care homes are equipped to cope with the needs of Mrs McInally, whose dementia leaves her in need of specialist personal care and causes her to be verbally aggressive.

Mr McInally has made repeated requests, but no place in Inverness has been found for his wife, and he says letters to MSPs, the Care Inspectorate, Alzheimer's Scotland and the Mental Welfare Commission have resulted in little more than apologies for the shortage of resources.

"The stress and strain of recent years has knocked the hell out of me," he said.

He also said he has had little support in coping with the enforced separation from his wife: "That carers should find themselves in this sudden devastating emotional and lonely situation without some counselling ... is something that should be seriously considered.

"In five months Christine's deterioration has been rapid and heart-breaking."

Mr McInally said he lives in fear of becoming unable to drive. "The prospect of a round trip in all weather on a bone-shaking bus journey if I become too elderly to drive or cannot afford the use of a vehicle is not pleasant," he said.

A spokeswoman for Alzheimer's Scotland said people with dementia were legally entitled to the right to a choice of residential care options in their area.

She added: "While this can sometimes prove difficult (particularly if a person with dementia is being discharged from hospital and is assessed as needing residential care at short notice), the local authority is obliged to offer a suitable place (or places) that can provide the correct care for that person's needs, in an appropriate and accessible location."

However, placing people too far from their family could contravene human rights laws guaranteeing the right to family life, she said. "People with dementia in residential care should be able to enjoy a family life, as should their partner and relations. This is much more difficult when a person with dementia is placed in a care setting that is far from family and friends."

Alzheimer's Scotland said it was unclear how many other families had similar problems.

"It is hard to assess how widespread a problem this is in Scotland, as evidence is largely anecdotal," the spokeswoman said: "However, it does appear more common in remote and rural areas."

The Herald's campaign NHS: Time for Action is calling for a review showing how NHS and social care capacity needs to shift and expand to cope well with the growing elderly population.

An NHS Highland spokeswoman said: "We are fully aware of the circumstances surrounding this couple and agree it is most unfortunate. We are working with the family to try to make sure the care is provided in the most appropriate setting for all concerned.

"This is under constant review. We recognise our policy of people being placed in the most appropriate setting can have knock-on implications for the family, but there a number of considerations.

"While it is not appropriate for us to consider the specific circumstances there are sound reasons for the current arrangements."