Stiofan McFadden, student:

I still consider myself a Catholic, but the final straw for me happened when I studied at the University of Edinburgh. Cardinal O'Brien said mass at the chaplaincy and his sermon contained some talk about morality, much of which was a rant about same-sex unions. I was baffled. I was standing there thinking: but I've been taught all along that God is love.

I had reached the point where I felt I couldn't find the space to talk to God in the Catholic church, where leaders were hounding who I was. I had to make a decision. I needed to find somewhere where I could be with God, because my faith is incredibly deep. It has not waned in any way. But I didn't feel comfortable going to mass all the time – though I still do when I'm at home in Ireland. I needed somewhere I could explore and develop my faith, and I found that space in Old St Paul's Episcopal Church in Edinburgh.

My sexuality is an essential part of me. I couldn't just put it to one side and pretend it doesn't exist. So I'm facing this battle of wanting to be part of this huge movement of Catholicism that has done so much good in the world and just wanting to have space and be accepted.

Of course I would like to be married in the Catholic church. Two of my cousins got married last year and the weddings were blissful. I was pining, knowing that I could never have that. I became involved in the Equal Marriage campaign. Whether the Catholic Church will ever come round to actually conducting same-sex unions within it is questionable. I don't see it happening any time soon. One of the leading Italian archbishops, who died recently, said the church is probably about 200 years behind the rest of society. I believe that. Whether in my lifetime I could ever get married in a Catholic church, or even be properly accepted alongside everybody else, seems doubtful.

Alan McManus, life coach and author:

I would love to marry within the Catholic Church, if I had the groom to do it with. That would be wonderful.

I was brought up Roman Catholic and I spent some time as a novice with the Capuchin Franciscans. I very much enjoyed my time there but I felt my vocation was elsewhere. I think the reason I stopped going to Catholic mass every Sunday is that I was fed up with being discreet. I was fed up with the eyes glazing over whenever I mentioned a boyfriend, or homosexuality, or some book, or some talk. Among the congregation, people weren't aggressive towards me or alienating. They tended more to treat me like an alcoholic who needed to be helped.

There are many people like myself who have basically one foot in the Catholic Church and one in another church. I go regularly to the St Mary's Scottish Episcopalian Cathedral in Glasgow. The Catholic Church still means a lot to me because of kinship, family and shared story. When my father died I was struck by the fact that I was going to lift this beloved body in the box and put it in the ground and allow people to cover it with earth and walk away, and I couldn't do that alone. I needed all the other people around me.

The narrow focus on sexuality has made the church sick. The treatment of gay people in the Catholic Church is only the tip of the iceberg, because most Catholics are taught to have a bad conscience about sexuality, whether it's masturbation or sex before marriage.

Coming out was difficult with my parents, who were then very traditional Catholics. But they changed. I have written a book on the subject of Christianity and homosexuality and is it dedicated to my mother because she stood up in a conference when a woman was speaking disparagingly about gay people, and said: "If you knew the pain that these people and their families went through, you wouldn't speak about them in that tone of voice." She was shaking when she sat down.

I do have a dream – and if we get another conservative Pope perhaps this may happen. There are many Catholic priests who are married, some of whom have formally renounced their priesthood, some of whom haven't. Perhaps those who have not could be persuaded to hold masses. People would flock to them: gay people, divorced people, remarried people, all those other people who are also very clearly made to feel like second-class citizens by the church. I think change will happen – if not within the Catholic church, without it.