He may be the hearthrob of the post-menopausal but I'll tell you what, you don't want to feel the sharp edge of Andre Rieu's tongue.
It's a tough gig, being an arts reviewer. It's even tougher being the littlest fish in the arts reviewing bowl. Nine times out of 10 I'm handed gigs that no one else wants to do: the concerts the serious arts reviewers are too grand to touch - Ronan Keating, JLS, that sort of thing.
I normally console myself with the fact that I probably have a lot more fun than the rest of the bunch; that was my thinking when I agreed to review Mr Rieu at Glasgow's SSE Hydro on Wednesday night.
He is big: he's sold 30 million albums worldwide and in 2011, he beat Lady Gaga in tour earnings.
But while I was looking forward to seeing him, he was less than delighted to see me.
A cancelled train from Edinburgh meant I was running late for the show. It's not normally a problem, especially not in a venue the size of the Hydro.
I imagined I'd just slip into my seat. Mr Rieu had other ideas.
The steward asked me to wait until the first waltz was done and then she led me to my chair... six rows from the front.
There was a choice of four seats and I couldn't read the numbers properly so I was engaged in wriggling off my coat, squinting at the seats, and finding a spot to dump my bag and laptop.
It did vaguely cross my mind that the hall was oddly bereft of orchestra music, but I didn't dwell on it. I was busy.
Or at least I was busy until I turned round and noticed the bulk of people in the seats in front were watching me. Then, like a dial turning up the sound on a radio, Mr Rieu's voice reached my ears. "You're late."
He was staring right at me. What he'd said before that, I have no idea. I didn't hear it.
I just heard the impatient silence of 12,000 people waiting for me to stop holding up their favourite performer.
"We have come all the way from Holland," he said to me from the stage with an impatient flick of violin and bow. "And we are on time."
"Sorry!" I hollered back. I'm not sure he accepted it. And I'm not sure he's going to have any impact on my future timekeeping.
But if there's a next time, I'll definitely be asking for a seat in the back.
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