'The social workers got hysterical and they made me hysterical. I was treated appallingly'

The Hear Me initiative, based in the Highlands, involves parents with mental health problems sharing their own stories, which are then used in training for professionals such as social workers, healthcare staff and police officers.

Experts say high-profile cases of children dying at the hands of their parents have led to professionals taking more action to intervene in troubled families in recent years.

The new initiative, by user-led pressure group HUG Action for Mental Health, aims to help address gaps in knowledge. This includes social workers who specialise in working with children having little experience of adult mental health issues.

Jon King, chairman of HUG's board of directors, said: "Historically, social workers had a much more generic training and background and professional experience.

"The move towards specialism over the years has meant that many of the social workers who are working directly with children will have little or no experience in the field of adult mental health and similarly the workers who are working as MHOs (mental health officers) will have little experience of working with children."

King said feedback from mental health officers who had attended the Hear Me project sessions had been 100% positive so far.

He added that "the bravery, openness and honesty" of the parents involved was "extremely moving".

DIANA'S STORY

Among the parents who have volunteered to help shine a light on the taboo subject of losing your children to the state is 38-year-old Diana. She does not take issue with the decision by social workers to take her children into care and she is candid about the way things had deteriorated in her home prior to their removal.

She said: "I had no parenting skills because I was dragged up, not brought up ... It was pretty manic in our house.

"Sometimes we would have great fun. There would be flour fights or paint all over the house. Then it would all go downhill and I couldn't even get out of bed.

"My older daughter, who was just four at the time, was fending for herself and looking after the baby. She was even giving me injections for my diabetes. It was a reverse mother-daughter relationship. She had to be the adult."

Diana feels social workers failed to offer effective support before things got to crisis point.

She said: "I wish I had been given some sort of parenting training to help me do basic things like bath the children and create a calming environment. I also could have done with more support in dealing with my mental health problems. It is only now that I have the correct diagnosis and am getting the treatment I need."

Diana also objects to the way social workers carried out their duties when they arrived at her house, in the company of police officers, to remove the children.

She said: "Nobody took time to explain to me or the children what was happening. They just said the children would be taken away for the weekend. That was four-and-a-half years ago and I'm still waiting for the weekend to finish. It was left to the police to give me information and support. They were great."

Diana's children were subsequently adopted in what is known as an "open adoption". She is updated on their progress and the children are allowed to initiate contact.

Nowadays, Diana is leading a stable and productive life and while profoundly sad at the loss of her children, she says she feels grateful that they are having a good life. She also enjoys her mental health training work where she is able to put the hard won insights of her experience to good use.

The project currently involves four parents and an advisory panel, with the work funded by See Me, the Scottish Government's mental health anti-stigma campaign.

HUG manager Graham Morgan said there had been a growing recognition of the need to address the concerns of parents with mental health problems.

He said: "For a long time, our members have been discussing these issues and also expressing fear of having their children removed should they admit to professionals that they need help. Around Christmas last year we were contacted by a young woman whose children had been taken into kinship care - where a child is looked after by a close relative. And she thought her experience was desperately unfair and unjust and wanted to do something about it. She especially wanted to meet with other parents who had similar experiences and to join together with them to try to make the situation better."

Morgan added: "This project is a way of giving our members a voice, of challenging preconceptions and giving social workers and anyone else who provides care for either parents or children to do as good a job as they possibly can, built on the experiences of those parents and hopefully the children too."

The Hear Me members are also planning to produce a series of short films giving voice to the parents, children and foster carers who have first-hand experience of the impact parental mental health problems can have on families. Additionally, they will be lobbying officials and politicians in a bid to influence policy.

Independent MSP for the Highlands and Islands, Jean Urquhart, backed the work of the group. She said: "The importance of the Hear Me group cannot be underestimated.

"Given the enormity of the situation where a parent is being assessed as to their ability to look after their own children, and the almost impossible task facing those who might recommend the removal of the children, it seems to me that the relationship between assessed and assessor is of prime importance.

"Understanding and trust will be vital components as will be the continuity of those involved with the decision making."

MAGS' STORY

Another parent involved in the project is Mags, who admits her mental health problems were damaging her ability to be an effective parent. A former medical secretary, who had successfully raised two children without social work involvement, she was in sole charge of her twin boys when they were taken into care 11 years ago.

She said: "The night before the boys were taken from me, I had been drinking heavily and I barricaded the doors and kept the children in their rooms."

However, she claims that the social workers, who arrived at her house to help, inadvertently exacerbated a difficult situation.

"I feel that the social workers got hysterical and that they made me hysterical and they made the boys hysterical because nobody was prepared," she said. "The children were just suddenly told this is what is going to happen. I wasn't informed. I was treated appallingly."

After her children were taken away Mags took an overdose and was subsequently admitted to a psychiatric hospital for three months under the Mental Health Act.

With the help of a sympathetic lawyer, she did manage to maintain parental rights and regular visits from her sons, although they remained in foster care - a situation which is clearly an ongoing source of deep regret.

Mags now receives support seven days a week to help her manage daily living tasks. But had this been provided before her children were taken into care, then it could, she feels, have changed the course of her life and that of her sons.

She said: "I wasn't a cruel mother. I hadn't abandoned the boys, I hadn't had a history of abusing them. There was a history of physical and mental illness.

"Just because a mother is unwell it doesn't mean the children should be removed and never returned.

"Children who are removed suddenly and drastically become the next mentally ill generation."