Complaints by cruise ship passengers include one by a woman who moaned about the sea being "too loud", it has been revealed.
And a couple accused a captain of being "rude" for sailing off when they had left a note saying they needed more sightseeing time in port, travel agency bonvoyage.co.uk found.
One woman, having learned Take That star Gary Barlow had been on her ship on an earlier trip, demanded to know why he was not on her voyage.
Then there was the man who complained about not getting "an impressive tan" and being unable to swim in the pool each day – while on a trip around Alaska.
A woman travelling with the company, called Celebrity Cruises, asked for a refund as there were "no celebrities on board", while a Yorkshire couple wanted compensation after spending "a lot more money than planned" on staff tips.
The woman who complained about the noise of the sea said she had not been able to sleep well on her Mediterranean cruise and demanded cabins be "better sound-proofed".
Another female traveller, having booked an inside cabin, then complained about not having a view of the sea and asked for a window to be installed.
Bonvoyage.co.uk cruise development manager Steph Curtin said: "From time to time we come across a few quirky complaints that we can do little to help.
"I'm afraid we can't be held responsible for the sea being too loud or the lack of celebrities on board."
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