Hey, was Jesus of Nazareth a transsexual woman?

Was he gay? Was he asexual? Was he bisexual? Almost certainly not. Note the word “almost”. There’s no hard evidence that would support positive answers to these questions. Mind you, theological controversy has spilled into the streets of Glasgow over such matters. Christian protesters have been denouncing the play Jesus, Queen Of Heaven, which portrays Jesus as a transsexual woman. Declaring the production at the Tron Theatre blasphemous, the demonstrators held up placards which said things like: “God: My Son Is Not a Pervert.” (Did God really say these words? Or was he/she misquoted by The Sun?) There hasn’t been such a fuss since the 1970s when Dead Sea Scrolls scholar John Allegro suggested Jesus was actually a magic mushroom. What fun!

Anyway, back at the main ranch. Are these questions about the sexuality of Jesus legitimate? Of course they are. Some commentators have made much of a text in the gospel of John, which refers to “the disciple whom Jesus loved”. This same disciple laid his head on the breast of Jesus at the Last Supper. If Jesus loved all his disciples, why is one – believed to be the apostle John – singled out? In the highly self-conscious sexualised ­culture of the early 21st century it would be easy, but misleading, to read these texts through a particular lens, and insist that only a sexual interpretation does justice to these and other biblical descriptions of intimate friendships, such as the tender Old Testament friendship between David and Jonathan. Putting post-modern questions to ancient texts is notoriously hazardous.

Are these proper topics for exploration on the stage? Yes. By their very nature, plays are imaginative constructs and are natural vehicles for the examination of contentious themes like prejudice. I have no idea whether the play was a credible exploration of an interesting subject. I would guess that most of the Christian protesters, like me, had not seen the drama they were offended by. (Christians have certainly not been shy to cause offence to other religious believers. Just ask the Jews.) Ironically, Jo Clifford, the transsexual woman who wrote and acted in the play, is herself a Christian. Is she entitled to feel offended at being called a “pervert”?

Were they right to protest? Well, yes. If they truly believed the play was damaging to society, they had a democratic right to make their views known. Exercising the right to protest is not the same as exercising wisdom, though. Theatres are not to be confused with churches committed to the defence of orthodoxies. (Mind you, many liberal people have their own, often unexamined, orthodoxies). Theatres are public spaces in which possibilities, however unlikely, can be literally acted out, tried on for size.

There are theological issues at stake here. The matter of gay sex, for instance, takes up very little space in the Bible compared to issues like usury, welcoming strangers, acting non-violently and justice for the oppressed. Where, then, are the protesters outside cinemas showing films which glorify the pursuit of money or the use of violence? (And why are there no groups of “confessing Christians” trying to stop the ordination of ministers who have made a lot of money on the Stock Exchange, or who support Trident missiles?)

Let’s reframe this. If Jesus Christ were to return today, in what form would that return express itself? After all, the poor carpenter was a bit of a surprise to those who expected the Messiah to come as a conquering hero at the head of a glorious army. Would Jesus come back as a bisexual man or a battered wife? Never try to second-guess a God of surprises.

The great Albert Schweitzer closed his seminal book, The Quest Of The Historical Jesus, with these words: “He comes to us as One unknown, without a name, as of old, by the lake-side … And to those who obey Him, whether they be wise or simple, He will reveal Himself in the toils, the conflicts, the sufferings which they shall pass through in His fellowship, and, as an ineffable mystery, they shall learn in their own experience who He is.”