The clock goes back tomorrow and there is the usual debate about how it is good news for farmers and people who live in Bournemouth.

Or it may be bad news for farmers and people who live in Bournemouth. I don't know because I tend to sleep through it all.

I read with interest about an English chap who doesn't change the clock and for half the year lives an hour ahead of the rest of us. Or it may be an hour behind. Anyway, he gets to lie in bed for an extra hour in winter. Or maybe summer.

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John Warren of Weston-Super-Mare says not changing the clock has cured his chronic cluster headache problem. It also saves 30% on energy costs.

Another side-effect is that visitors look at the clock and say goodness is that the time and leave early. Presumably having had their tea before they arrived. This could catch on in a certain city in the east of Scotland.

It will also be popular with schoolchildren who turn up late with a note from mum saying please excuse Johnny for missing the first period as he is permanently on British Summer Time.

People who support a rubbish team will only have to watch the second half. The downside is there may be no Killie pies left.

This time regime is good for the liver. When you pop round to the pub for the last hour they have already called time gentlemen please.

One benefit of being an hour ahead is that people with a New Year phobia will miss those Hogmanay programmes. And make savings by not buying whisky, black bun, coal and salt for first-footing purposes.

TV viewing the rest of the year will not be affected by only watching those channels with +1 after the name. The good bit is that news at six will actually be Channel 4 news at seven. Or just watch Dave where time is irrelevant.

As a visitor to Barcelona I am used to things happening an hour later than scheduled. This is referred to as Spanish time even though Catalunya is not Spain. This article may not be in the newspaper because as I write I have missed the deadline.

To avoid clock-changing confusion, remember it is spring forward, fall back. Or is it fall forward, spring back?