Tony Hall is now firmly ensconced back at the Beeb, a place he left in 2001 to run the Royal Opera House.
He feels pensionate – sorry, passionate – about the job, but what should he do first, apart from see if some of the people who took part in Secret Santa in 2000 are still there (and try and find out which of them gave him the squirting tie – "Look out Lord Patten!")?
Well, he could start by banning the irritating habit of interrupting the credits at the end of dramas with: "Next Time...".
Many of us are adults. We can hold on to the dramatic thrust of a story ourselves. If there is a chance that two characters might meet in the next instalment, do we need to see a glimpse of it already?
Does this happen in novels? At the end of a chapter do we have a few lines saying: "Coming up next: Pip meets Miss Havisham". All right, this used to happen a very long time ago, when it might have said: "Chapter Four, in which our hero ...' and so on. But that has long been dispensed with.
The use of "next time" is juvenile. When you have a meal in a restaurant, can you imagine if they gave you a little bit of dessert on the side of your main dish, just to let you know what was coming up next.
The Ten O'Clock News needs a makeover too. Those swirling graphics at the start are all well and good, but it would be so much better if the odd, unexpected town name were slipped in, so that when "Beijing" floats down from the top of the screen (or is it up from the bottom?), it can meet "East Kilbride" sweeping boldly across from the left. A new town – or even a New Town – could be added every night, until people rang in to complain that "Nairn" or "Helmsdale" had been overlooked.
Also, can he please make sure the Beeb makes a contribution to viewers' pensions (I know – what pensions?), whenever they watch the channel?
Finally, given his previous job, one wonders if he'll bring any of the Opera House's way of doing things with him.
When his PA says: "I'm sorry, he's not at his desk right now," does a chorus of staff sing: "Not-at-his-desk! Not-at-his-desk! Not-at-his-desk, RIIIIIIIIIIIGHT NOW!!
Why are you making commenting on The Herald only available to subscribers?
It should have been a safe space for informed debate, somewhere for readers to discuss issues around the biggest stories of the day, but all too often the below the line comments on most websites have become bogged down by off-topic discussions and abuse.
heraldscotland.com is tackling this problem by allowing only subscribers to comment.
We are doing this to improve the experience for our loyal readers and we believe it will reduce the ability of trolls and troublemakers, who occasionally find their way onto our site, to abuse our journalists and readers. We also hope it will help the comments section fulfil its promise as a part of Scotland's conversation with itself.
We are lucky at The Herald. We are read by an informed, educated readership who can add their knowledge and insights to our stories.
That is invaluable.
We are making the subscriber-only change to support our valued readers, who tell us they don't want the site cluttered up with irrelevant comments, untruths and abuse.
In the past, the journalist’s job was to collect and distribute information to the audience. Technology means that readers can shape a discussion. We look forward to hearing from you on heraldscotland.com
Comments & Moderation
Readers’ comments: You are personally liable for the content of any comments you upload to this website, so please act responsibly. We do not pre-moderate or monitor readers’ comments appearing on our websites, but we do post-moderate in response to complaints we receive or otherwise when a potential problem comes to our attention. You can make a complaint by using the ‘report this post’ link . We may then apply our discretion under the user terms to amend or delete comments.
Post moderation is undertaken full-time 9am-6pm on weekdays, and on a part-time basis outwith those hours.
Read the rules hereComments are closed on this article