WE asked for your Glasgow Odeon stories before it's demolished, and Alastair McSporran in Ross-shire recalls when Johnny Cash appeared there in the late sixties, accompanied by his wife June Carter.

Says Alastair: "Towards the end of the show, June chatted with the audience, and got a shouted response from three US servicemen.

"She asked them where they came from, and one by one they shouted out their hometown.

"The transatlantic twangs were interrupted by a gruff voice: 'An' Ah'm fae Govan an' Ah've got a bus tae catch, so get a move on'."

Hard act to follow

AND our tale of the cinema-goer who commented: "Don't judge a book by its movie" reminds Allan Morrison in King's Park: "While coming out of a screening of Jesus Christ Superstar at the Odeon I heard someone say: 'Great movie – but the book was better'."

The pies have it

AN interesting painting at the Christmas show at the RGI Kelly Gallery in Glasgow is of a succulent Scotch pie by award-winning artist Helen Wilson. She's had a thing for painting pies for years and even produced a pie with Bovril for the wife of a football manager.

Says Helen: "I always have to buy a few at a time, and then choose the right pie back in the studio, as I'm sure the bakery staff would think I was quite mad if I started making a fuss about the attributes of a particular pie and whether or not it would work in a painting."

The exhibition runs from December 1-22.

A swing and a prayer

THE chat this week at a Renfrewshire golf club was of the minister member who hit his drive out of bounds at the 14th, and made a praying motion as it sailed over the road. However his ball hit a wall across the road and bounced back on to the fairway. From there he hit an eight iron which holed out for an eagle two.

Since then other club members have tried prayer, but alas with little effect.

Food for thought

IT'S common these days for offices to provide kitchens for staff where they can store their packed lunches and heat up their food. Not everyone knows the concept though, as a Dennistoun reader found when he overheard a temporary worker ask a colleague in the call centre where he works: "Where's your kitchen?"

When the chap answered: "What?" the new member of staff persisted: "Where's your kitchen?"

"In ma hoose" the baffled chap eventually replied.

Google-eyed

CHRISTMAS present buying, and many folk are thinking of getting their ageing parents computers. One Jordanhill reader tells us he got one for his mum last year, showed her Google and said you could put in any question you wanted.

His mum then typed: "How's Aunty Helen keeping?"