WE asked for your Glasgow Odeon stories before it is demolished, and Hilary Iannotti confesses: "Many years ago I met a boy at a south-side disco who invited me to go to the pictures.

I duly met him in Central Station and walked up to the Odeon. We sat near the back and I was praying I didn't meet anyone I knew as I couldn't believe I had agreed to go to the pictures with him.

"Just before the movie started I excused myself to go to the ladies, and sprinted to Glasgow Central to catch a train home. I do wonder if he was traumatised by the experience."

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Scream test

AND Gerry Gill in Kelvindale recalls: "When The Beatles performed at the Odeon there was a huge press of teenage girls outside hoping for a glimpse of the Fab Four.

"Some joker opened an upstairs window, shoved out a floor mop and shook it around – a trick that was greeted with much hilarity and not a few squeals from said teenagers."

Scratch of the day

A BIT parky over the weekend. As Jimmy Manson in Ayr tells us: "The other morning my wife said, 'I'm going out to scrape the car.'

"'Against what?' I replied."

Spirited away

WE'VE mentioned before the amusing reviews left on the internet shopping site Amazon when anyone buys the products they sell. A reader points us to the latest review for bottles of Barrettine methylated spirit, which may sound rather a mundane product. However the latest review states: "From the moment you remove the cap you realise you're in for a treat. Fresh, bright, smoky, with a mineral edge and rounded, fruity nose.

"Bold, possessing some edge and no little bite, yet remaining smooth, balanced and satisfying.This is a drink to enjoy with friends in a park. Highly recommended."


RETIRED journalists always amuse us. One in Glasgow thought it would be a good idea to attend a memory clinic to make sure he was still up to mental scratch despite his 76 years.

It went well, and the doctor asked him to bring his wife the next time so she could be asked some questions and see if her husband could remember the answers. On that date he arrived at the clinic only to be asked: "Where's your wife?" He had forgotten to bring her.

Digits or digital?

ARE our children too dependent on their electronic devices? We only ask as a Stirling reader on the train to Edinburgh was shocked when he heard a school pupil ask her pal: "Which would you rather lose – your mobile phone or a finger?" He was even more shocked when the pal replied: "Which finger?"

Laughing stock

OUR picture of the store bragging "If it's in stock we have it" reminds a reader of visiting Birmingham, Alabama, where a hardware shop confidently proclaimed: "If we don't stock it, you don't need it."

Caffeine kicks

OUR daft gag last week prompted Jim McCrudden: "Thieves have just robbed my local shop of 20 cases of Red Bull. I don't know how these people sleep at night."