OFFICE parties continued.

A west end reader heard two young chaps holding a post-mortem on their office do, at which partners were also invited.

"I wasn't that drunk," one of them insisted.

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But his pal reminded him: "So how come you ended up asking your own girlfriend if she was single."

Crash landing

AND a Wishaw reader confesses he didn't know why his mobile phone was broken after his office night out.

It only became clear when he went back to work and a colleague asked him if he recalled putting his mobile onto airplane mode and then trying to fly it across the room.

Green dream

TALKING of the west end, a reader was in an upmarket supermarket there when a woman remonstrated with her young son who wasn't behaving himself by telling him: "Be good – or I'll buy extra broccoli."

Helping hand

A YOUNG woman who does technical support for a computer company tells us she received a call from a Glasgow customer who was pleasantly surprised that his call was being handled by a woman.

At the end of the call he asked if she ever got grief from customers who didn't think women could handle technical details.

When she replied that she occasionally got nasty comments he told her with full Glasgow gallantry: "If you're seriously having trouble with some numpty, let me know and I'll make sure they'll regret it."

On guard

GUS Gault in Hamilton sees the heading in The Herald "Sword used in jewellers raid" and ponders: "Did the robbers then fence any stolen jewellery?"

Conversation filler

THEATRE company By The Slice, which put on the play Call Me! at the Edinburgh Fringe about dating disasters, is collecting stories to freshen up the play.

One chap in Edinburgh told them a first date didn't go well when the conversation dried up.

The dullest point, he told them, was "when I ended up asking her whether she made sandwiches for work in the morning or the night before".

Feeling low

A SCOT in London tells us that his local greengrocer was complaining about business not being as good as it once was.

But as the chap always has a ready quip for every occasion, he then added: "I'm thinking of changing the name of the shop to Melon-Cauli."

Grab a bargain

ERIC Simpson of Dalgety Bay popped into the outdoor shop Rohan in Edinburgh where he saw a sign stating: "Men's watches 50% off. Limited time only."

"So that's why they are reduced, was my thought," says Eric.