A HIGHLIGHT at Celtic Connections at the weekend was veteran politician Tony Benn introducing the film about his career, Will and Testament.

Tony tells of driving near Westminster many years ago when he had an urgent need to go to the loo. In desperation he lifted the bonnet of the car, and relieved himself over the engine, hoping he would be out of public sight.

However a passer-by stopped and told him: "I see your problem – your radiator's leaking."

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Trunk call

WE mentioned a Celtic Connections gig taking place in the unusual surroundings of Kelvingrove Art Gallery. Phil McCluskey tells us support act John Murry from Mississippi looked up at the Spitfire hung from the ceiling, down the gallery at the stuffed elephant, Sir Roger, and confided to the audience: "I've been dying to ask, why is that Spitfire chasing the elephant? Is this a British thing?"

Ear, ear...

BURNS Night on Friday, and giving the Toast to the Lassies at the Glasgow Lord Provost's Burns Supper was the council's deputy leader Archie Graham, who is married to Labour's Scottish leader Johann Lamont. Archie, in a robust description of his marriage, claimed he once got the condolences of First Minister Alex Salmond as "you've got to listen to that every day of the week".

After adding that when he worked in the building trade and was given two sets of ear defenders – one set for the site, and one for when he got home, Lord Provost Sadie Docherty reassured Archie he could sleep on her settee that night if he got kicked out.

Another nice mess

HOWEVER Johann, in giving the Reply From the Lassies, gave as good as she got, telling everyone: "When I met Archie, he boasted he could do the work of two men.

"He didn't tell me they were Laurel and Hardy".

Missing Les Mis

The big cinema hit just now is Les Miserables. Brenda Gillies from Newport on Tay suppressed an urge to shout out: "The clue's in the title" when she went to see the film and "there we were in the hushed cinema, emotions wrung, breathless with the drama unfolding before us, when a loud voice shatters our concentration with the words, 'Not very cheery, is it?'"

Vanishing act

ONE of the big names at this year's Glasgow Comedy Festival is Jerry Sadowitz, who grew up in Glasgow, and like many citizens of the city, does not suffer fools gladly. This was shown on the website of the British Comedy Guide which interviewed Jerry, and asked him: "You started off as a magician with comic banter, but are now perhaps more often labelled a comedian first; a stand-up who can do magic. How did that transition occur? And was it deliberate, or not of your doing?"

We admire Jerry's honesty when he replied: "What a boring question. I honestly switched off halfway through."