EVERYDAY life can be confusing.
Bob Forsyth from Uplawmoor was in the ticket queue at Glasgow's Central Station when the young lady in front asked for "a return to Glasgow please".
Says Bob: "The ticket chap asked, 'But where are you going?' to which she replied, 'Largs'. She was then told that what she wanted was a return to Largs.
"However she held her ground and said, 'No, I want to return to Glasgow', whereupon he just gave up and issued her a return to Largs and with discretion said no more about it."
Hey, good looking
A READER swears to us he heard a young girl walking down Byres Road in Glasgow ask her pals: "Do you think I'm vain?"
She then added before they could reply: "It's just that I read in a magazine article that really good-looking people often are."
Stop the bus
WE mentioned the Glasgow to Edinburgh Citylink bus this week, and it reminds James Beyer in Edinburgh of being on the service and overhearing two excitable French girls near the front having a conversation in their native tongue, with one exclaiming, 'Oui! Oui!' after her pal's chat.
The bus driver also heard her and helpfully pointed out to them where the toilet was located near the back of the bus.
Belt up
OUR school belt stories bring back painful memories for Alan Stewart in Prestwick, who tells us: "When I was a teenager I was 'awarded' two of the belt for forgetting a book, and I ended up with severe bruising on my right wrist.
"When I returned home I showed my wrist to my mother, in the hope of receiving some maternal sympathy.
"When she asked me why I got the belt, and I told her, I then got a skelp on the ear and told, 'Well you won't forget it again then will you?'"
On cue
AND Frank O'Donnell tells us about his secondary school in Glasgow in the 1970s where one of the teachers was called Mr McHugh.
Whenever he had to dish out the belt to a number of miscreants he would regularly chant: "Form a cue for Mr McHugh."
Regional surveillance
NEWS there will be a Scottish intelligence agency set up after independence, makes Rab Spence in County Durham ponder: "Will it be known as MI Fife?"
Finders keepers
DAFT gag of the week? A chap was stopped by cops in Govan walking away from the Southern General hospital with a large sign under his arm which read: "And Emergency".
When they asked him where he got it, he told them he found it by accident.
Why are you making commenting on The Herald only available to subscribers?
It should have been a safe space for informed debate, somewhere for readers to discuss issues around the biggest stories of the day, but all too often the below the line comments on most websites have become bogged down by off-topic discussions and abuse.
heraldscotland.com is tackling this problem by allowing only subscribers to comment.
We are doing this to improve the experience for our loyal readers and we believe it will reduce the ability of trolls and troublemakers, who occasionally find their way onto our site, to abuse our journalists and readers. We also hope it will help the comments section fulfil its promise as a part of Scotland's conversation with itself.
We are lucky at The Herald. We are read by an informed, educated readership who can add their knowledge and insights to our stories.
That is invaluable.
We are making the subscriber-only change to support our valued readers, who tell us they don't want the site cluttered up with irrelevant comments, untruths and abuse.
In the past, the journalist’s job was to collect and distribute information to the audience. Technology means that readers can shape a discussion. We look forward to hearing from you on heraldscotland.com
Comments & Moderation
Readers’ comments: You are personally liable for the content of any comments you upload to this website, so please act responsibly. We do not pre-moderate or monitor readers’ comments appearing on our websites, but we do post-moderate in response to complaints we receive or otherwise when a potential problem comes to our attention. You can make a complaint by using the ‘report this post’ link . We may then apply our discretion under the user terms to amend or delete comments.
Post moderation is undertaken full-time 9am-6pm on weekdays, and on a part-time basis outwith those hours.
Read the rules hereComments are closed on this article