A MEMBER of staff at a major power company tells us colleagues from Newcastle attended a training day in Glasgow, wearing their company's bright yellow high-viz jackets on which was printed "Challenge me", reflecting the company's culture of challenging unsafe behaviour.
One of the chaps returned from a stroll around the city centre and asked what the "square go" was that a local youth had shouted at him.
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OUR story of buying a return ticket reminds David Witton in Helensburgh of taking the Western Ferries boat from Gourock to Dunoon, and wanting to know the price difference in fares before deciding whether to take the long, scenic route back by road, or simply catch the ferry.
Says David: "When the purser appeared at the car to collect the fares I asked him, 'Can you tell me the difference between a single and a return?' His quick retort was, 'Sir, with a return you get to come back again.'"
KATE Woods overhears a group of women of a certain age discussing a widowed friend who had met a "new man".
One of them disclosed that she had been bold enough to ask the widow how intimate the relationship had become.
The lady had given the memorable reply: "Well let me put it this way – it's the middle of winter but my legs are shaved."
DAVID Donaldson sees the news story that sandwich chain Pret a Manger is no longer selling Virgin Mary crisps because of complaints from Christians, and is reminded of the often misheard Christmas carol: "Away in a manager, no crisps in his bed."
A READER phones: "I walked into Burger King and asked for a Whopper. 'Certainly sir', said the assistant, 'Our burgers contain no horse meat.'"
A TEACHER'S tale on our school belt stories.
Says Angela Simms: "As a young French teacher in Possilpark in the 1970s I rarely gave the belt, but one day I had threatened the 33 boys in 3F4 four times with the belt if they didn't stop talking.
"As they laughed, I had to keep my word. The next day, my last before maternity leave, one of them put a lovely pram quilt on my desk and said, 'Miss that's for your wean – will ye bring it in tae see us?'
"Feeling really bad, I was consoled by an older, cynical, male colleague, who said, 'Don't worry – they probably knocked it from that wee baby shop in Saracen Street.'"
Here's a tip ...
HARRY Styles, crooner with boy band One Direction, left only a 30p tip after dining in a Glasgow Pizza Hut the other day. It reminds us of the reader who was in New York when the bill came to $65, and he apologised for leaving only a $5 tip as he only had $70 in cash.
"Let me check that for you," said the waiter, who rewrote the bill to $55. Any other tipping stories?