TRAIN tickets continued.

David Campbell from Helensburgh had arrived in Edinburgh's Waverley Station for the rugby at Murrayfield and noticed the taxi queue was a mile long. As his pal had been ill and couldn't manage the long walk to the stadium, they decided to catch a train to Haymarket instead – a journey so short it is rarely undertaken.

Says David: "The ticket clerk seemed unimpressed with our travel plans, as indicated by an audible tut and a rolling of the eyes. As he handed us two single tickets to Haymarket, he enquired, 'Dae yiz want tae book a sleeper?'"

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Party on

A READER swears to us the young chap on his bus into Glasgow yesterday told his pal: "My next-door neighbour banged on my door at two in the morning claiming he couldn't sleep.

"I told him he was in luck as I was having a party and he should just come in."

Payback time

A SOUTH side chap was telling his pals he had recently been in a private hospital having an ankle injury treated. He added: "The surgeon said I would be up and walking in two weeks. He was right – I had to sell my car, the hospital bill was that high."

Crossing cultures

GEORGE McKenzie in Rothesay notes BBC Newsnight Scotland was commenting on the popularity of the Danish political drama Borgen in Scotland, and wondered if anything similar could be written about the Scottish Government.

"Boggin?" suggests George.

A true gentleman

TIME to tuck our school belting stories up the sleeve of our cloak, but not before Alex Moir in Ayr passes on: "In Cranhill Secondary in the early 1960s our English teacher did not like to belt girls, so he paired each girl with a boy in his class.

"If the boy misbehaved he was belted, and if the girl misbehaved the boy paired with her was belted.

"Can you imagine that happening today?"

Scoring points

LATEST on the Chris Huhne case as an east coat reader phones: "It seems the Dundee manager Barry Smith is now claiming he was driving Huhne's car as he's desperate for the three points."

High flier

TALKING of speeding, Liz Barker tells us of a friend's brother who is a traffic cop in Durham, North Carolina.

"He pulled over a guy speeding down a freeway outside Washington DC. Using a phrase worthy of Rikki Fulton's Supercop, he challenged the offender, 'OK, show us your pilot's licence'.

"When the driver duly did flourish his aviation credentials, the polis could do nothing but wish him a nice day."