THE head of a company's human resources department swears to us a chap was asked at a job interview the standard question: "What do you think is your greatest weakness?"

"Honesty," he replied.

"I don't think honesty is a weakness," he was told.

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"I don't care what you think," he responded.

Skin test

LATEST fad in Japan is companies advertising on the thighs of girls wearing short skirts, as they assume men's eyes will be automatically drawn there.

Our advertising expert tells us: "Judging by the state of some girls out in Glasgow on a Friday night, not only would there be enough bare skin for a Greggs logo on their thighs, but also the company's slogan, 'The home of fresh baking.'"

Trunk call

THE horsemeat scandal is still uppermost in many folk's minds. Terry McGeary in East Kilbride was in his local supermarket and wondered what was inside the "jumbo pasties" on sale.

Steak a claim

AND television programme Sky Sports News has asked viewers to suggest the name of a racehorse they are going to sponsor. One of the first suggestions is Mincemeat with the viewer saying: "Because it would make mincemeat of the opposition." We don't think that's really the reason he suggested it.

Walk out

FORMER Glasgow MP George Galloway was in the news for storming out of an Oxford University debate as he refused to share the platform with an Israeli student. It reminds us of the chap who declared: "Someone said I suffer from xenophobia, whatever that is. I bet you I caught it off some foreigner."

It's no yolk

WE often remark on the strange conversations folk hear on buses. A Shawlands reader said he was going to work yesterday when a teenage girl told her pal: "We had scrambled eggs for breakfast, but it was like a pancake."

Her pal thought about this before replying: "You mean an omelette?"

Nightie night

A TEACHER tells us he was holding mock parliamentary elections in his modern studies class when the class clown insisted on standing for the Pyjama Party arguing: "Who wouldn't want to vote for a pyjama party?"

Dig in

DAFT gag for the weekend? The chap who made dinner for his new girlfriend and told her: "Those chips you've just eaten actually came from my garden this morning."

"Wow," she smiled, "I didn't know you grew potatoes."

"I don't," the chap told her. "Some drunk must have thrown them over the hedge last night."