A RATHER interesting text appeared on my phone recently.
It began quite tantalisingly: "£2800 IS STILL waiting in your name. Its [no apostrophe, but we can afford to be generous, and let it pass] compensation for the accident you had.
"To get it sent out ASAP fill out the form at," and then there was a web address for a claims company.
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To be honest, I was so taken with the idea of receiving £2800 - and the fact that that "STILL" was in capitals clearly suggested that the offer had been on the table for quite some time and might be subject to a deadline - that I forgot to ask myself some elementary questions. Namely: accident? What accident?
I looked at my diary and could find absolutely no trace of any sort of mishap that might have occasioned treatment from my GP or even a hospital. None, certainly, that would have merited nearly three grand in compensation.
On the other hand, claims companies are, as everyone knows, entirely reputable organisations, not given to making unsupportable allegations.
Far be it for me to argue with a claims company. If they say I had an accident, then plainly I have no choice but to take them at their word. As far as not remembering the accident in any detail goes, it was obviously so traumatic, or embarrassing, that I succeeded in blanking out all memory of it.
Strange how the human mind works, I marvelled as I rang the number. "The number you have dialled is not in service," said a foreign-sounding, pre-recorded female voice.
Little daunted, I log on to the website. The first question asks: "Have you been subject to the following? Road traffic accident; industrial disease; asbestosis; medical negligence; other." Unsure, I tick all five, just to cover myself.
Were you injured in the last three years? I tick both "no" and "yes". Ditto the questions on whether I received medical attention and on whether the accident was someone else's fault.
In the box asking if there was anything else I'd like to say, I express humble gratitude for their activities on my behalf, and apologise for being so wretchedly vague about the accident.
There's been no word so far. But I am quietly confident that the cheque for £2800 will arrive tomorrow. It may not be on a par with that £108 million EuroMillions win, but it's a start. It's a definite start.