AH, Glasgow barmen.
It's time we had a story or two about them again.
Tom Rafferty tells us: "My office is in Glasgow, and we have regular visits from colleagues and customers from England.
"One of our senior chaps was up from Manchester, and several of us went for a drink after work.
"He had been enjoying a summertime drink in his garden over the weekend, and so he asked for the same thing here. A Malibu and Diet Coke.
"The barman's response was a raised eyebrow, and the question, 'In the same glass?'"
Sweet support
"I HOPE Switzerland win today," said the woman in the west end coffee shop yesterday.
Her male companion looked impressed that she was showing an interest in the World Cup. "Why's that?" he asked, presumably hoping for an exposition on the team's defensive qualities.
"I like chocolate and watches," his coffee companion replied.
Taking a stand
AN England fan phoned The Diary yesterday to tell us: "I just can't get excited about a sporting event where a government has spent millions funding it, yet people live in squalor and deprivation in a country where drugs are rife and life expectation is very low.
"But enough of the Commonwealth Games in Glasgow - the World Cup has started."
Safe bet
AS we search for humour in the independence debate, Conservative MSP Murdo Fraser tells us of the chap who declared: "Think I'll bet all my savings on a No vote. If it's Yes, they'll be worthless anyway."
Absent father
FATHER'S Day yesterday, and Adam Hess reminisces: "My dad used to be at work so much during the week, I thought he was just a man who stayed at my house at weekends to give me cycling lessons."
First impressions
A READER is still pondering after hearing a woman on his bus into Glasgow tell her companion: "Some people are quick to judge. I always notice that right away with some folk."
Different recipe
SOMEHOW we mentioned a couple of stories about pepper, which provokes David Kirkwood into telling us: "A famous chef in an illustrious Glasgow establishment, realising he was short of ingredients, asked his trainee chef from the east end of Glasgow to go out and get assorted peppers.
"Back he came with the Daily Record, The Sun, and The Herald."
Top dollar
AS ithers see us. A reader in America sends us a joke from his local newspaper. By the way, it does actually say "Hoot", as the typesetter presumably thought "Hoots" was a mistake.
Anyway, it states: "A Scotsman, planning a trip to the Holy Land, was aghast when he found it would cost $50 to rent a boat on the Sea of Galilee. 'Hoot mon,' he said, 'in Scotland it wouldna ha' been more than $20.'
"'That might be true," said the travel agent, 'but you have to take into account that is water on which our Lord himself walked.'
"'Well, at $50 for a boat,' said the Scotsman, 'it's no wonder he walked'."
Why are you making commenting on The Herald only available to subscribers?
It should have been a safe space for informed debate, somewhere for readers to discuss issues around the biggest stories of the day, but all too often the below the line comments on most websites have become bogged down by off-topic discussions and abuse.
heraldscotland.com is tackling this problem by allowing only subscribers to comment.
We are doing this to improve the experience for our loyal readers and we believe it will reduce the ability of trolls and troublemakers, who occasionally find their way onto our site, to abuse our journalists and readers. We also hope it will help the comments section fulfil its promise as a part of Scotland's conversation with itself.
We are lucky at The Herald. We are read by an informed, educated readership who can add their knowledge and insights to our stories.
That is invaluable.
We are making the subscriber-only change to support our valued readers, who tell us they don't want the site cluttered up with irrelevant comments, untruths and abuse.
In the past, the journalist’s job was to collect and distribute information to the audience. Technology means that readers can shape a discussion. We look forward to hearing from you on heraldscotland.com
Comments & Moderation
Readers’ comments: You are personally liable for the content of any comments you upload to this website, so please act responsibly. We do not pre-moderate or monitor readers’ comments appearing on our websites, but we do post-moderate in response to complaints we receive or otherwise when a potential problem comes to our attention. You can make a complaint by using the ‘report this post’ link . We may then apply our discretion under the user terms to amend or delete comments.
Post moderation is undertaken full-time 9am-6pm on weekdays, and on a part-time basis outwith those hours.
Read the rules hereComments are closed on this article