SOME great lines come from the radio.
Roy Gullane tells us: "I heard this little gem on a radio talk show. 'We have to study this carefully, the last thing we need is a knee trembler reaction.'
Freudian slip perhaps?"
Subtle hint
BAR staff continued. Moyra Peffer tells us: "An American on holiday in Glasgow was out for a meal with friends at an upmarket restaurant in the Merchant City.
"Enjoying their coffees and liqueurs, the waitress appeared at the table, unannounced, with the bill, her coat on, and with the request, 'Gonnae pay yer bill so I can catch the last bus home, pal?'."
Hands up
AND a south side reader was in one of the city's more traditional bars where she called out an order to a very busy barman.
"What do you think I am? An octopus?" he shouted back as he continued to deal with previous customers.
To his credit
"THE bank phoned me because of suspicious activity on my credit card," said the chap in the Glasgow pub the other night.
"They couldn't believe I'd joined a gym."
Pain for Spain
SOME upsets already in the World Cup.
Ian Power goes all My Fair Lady on us and tells us: "The reign of Spain falls, and they're mainly on the plane."
Game for a laugh
ADVICE to Commonweatlh Games visitors to Glasgow continued.
The stand-up Janey Godley has mentioned a few on the Journeys to Glasgow website including:
l The cone which is on Wellington's head is not graffiti, it's similar to the ravens in the Tower of London, if it's removed, Glasgow will fall. So our people replace it constantly.
l We have slang for most things. Ruby Murray is a curry, nobody remembers who she is. Hampden roar means 'score' and Oscar Slater means 'later'.
l If you hear screaming at 3am in the street, that's either the foxes or the mating call of Glaswegians and nobody is fighting. We fight silently.
Night vision
A READER sends us a link to a website giving the pros and cons of various universities. We are drawn to a comment about St Andrews University. There, an observer of student-life there opines: "It's dark for 10 months of the year so they all have excellent eyesight. Like badgers."
Sun goes down
"MY son wanted to know where the sun went at night," a Kelvinside reader phones to tell us. "So I told him to sit up all night and he'd find out. It finally dawned on him at about half four this morning."
On the buses
BRILLIANT weather in Glasgow yesterday, but certain standards are still kept.
A reader watched as a young chap with his "tap aff" in the sunshine boarded a FirstBus in the city centre.
However, after a quick conversation with the driver the young chap jumped off the bus, fished his t-shirt out of a plastic bag, put it on, and jumped back on the bus. "Who knew," said our reader, "that Glasgow buses have a dress code."
Why are you making commenting on The Herald only available to subscribers?
It should have been a safe space for informed debate, somewhere for readers to discuss issues around the biggest stories of the day, but all too often the below the line comments on most websites have become bogged down by off-topic discussions and abuse.
heraldscotland.com is tackling this problem by allowing only subscribers to comment.
We are doing this to improve the experience for our loyal readers and we believe it will reduce the ability of trolls and troublemakers, who occasionally find their way onto our site, to abuse our journalists and readers. We also hope it will help the comments section fulfil its promise as a part of Scotland's conversation with itself.
We are lucky at The Herald. We are read by an informed, educated readership who can add their knowledge and insights to our stories.
That is invaluable.
We are making the subscriber-only change to support our valued readers, who tell us they don't want the site cluttered up with irrelevant comments, untruths and abuse.
In the past, the journalist’s job was to collect and distribute information to the audience. Technology means that readers can shape a discussion. We look forward to hearing from you on heraldscotland.com
Comments & Moderation
Readers’ comments: You are personally liable for the content of any comments you upload to this website, so please act responsibly. We do not pre-moderate or monitor readers’ comments appearing on our websites, but we do post-moderate in response to complaints we receive or otherwise when a potential problem comes to our attention. You can make a complaint by using the ‘report this post’ link . We may then apply our discretion under the user terms to amend or delete comments.
Post moderation is undertaken full-time 9am-6pm on weekdays, and on a part-time basis outwith those hours.
Read the rules hereComments are closed on this article