MUCH panic in the markets as stock markets around the world collapse, sending share prices tumbling. As Tom Jamieson mused: "I'm waiting for someone on the BBC news to tell us, 'For the latest on the market crash,over to Robert Peston looting a supermarket in Hull for bottled water and tinned ham'."

MUCH sobbing around the country on Sunday evening as many folk watched Les Miserables which was screened on the telly for the first time. Those who know the previous work of the principal actors will appreciate TV presenter Sue Perkins's overview on social media: "Stephen Hawking is on the telly singing with Wolverine. Someone's tipped all their furniture out in the street. Everyone seems sad."

WE bump into Robin Boot who is appearing at Cabaret Voltaire at the Edinburgh Fringe and ask him what he thinks of Edinburgh. "The weekends," he confides, "are making me genuinely anxious." He explains: "Every time I walk in the street I don't know whether I'm being attacked by a seagull or being chased by a hen party. The mating calls seems to be very similar and they both seem to scavenge in flocks."

TOUGH times in the world of business. A reader in a Glasgow coffee shop for his lunch yesterday heard the chap behind him tell a pal: "They let us leave early on Friday, which was nice, until they complained this morning that we didn’t bill enough hours last week."

FEMALE stand-up Jo Caulfield was quietly pleased that The Herald gave her a five star review for her Edinburgh Fringe show at The Stand comedy club. The Herald's five stars have been added to the publicity posters, and Jo herself remarked: "I'm asking people to come along and see how wrong the reviewers can be."

SURPRISE favourite to be the next Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn is not known for cracking jokes. So a spoof account has been set up on Twitter to give a platform to potential Jeremy jokes. They are of course of a left-wing nature. Thus we have: "Why do birds fly south for the winter? Migratory labour caused by lack of investment in the Thatcher-blighted North."

Honestly, it does grow on you.

MUCH consternation about the large hotel planned at the site of the St James's Centre in Edinburgh which critics, including Herald columnist Rosemary Goring, says will destroy the Edinburgh skyline. Author Candia McWilliam in yesterday's Herald coyly described the hotel as looking like something you would pick up after your dog. Our attention is drawn to the architects' magazine Urban Realm where many folk were hotly debating the design. As one architect from Glasgow claimed: "At the recent Glaswegian Resistance Force meeting the team were proudly unveiling plans for a massive Jobby sculpture right in the centre of Edinburgh. At no point did Team Weegie ever think their plans would become reality."

READERS occasionally are concerned with levels of education in Scotland. A west end greengrocer tells us a young chap came in and asked for lemons. As our man picked a couple up, the customer intervened: "No, not the yellow ones - the green ones over there," as he pointed at the limes.