Donald Trump says if Chinese President Xi Jinping came to Washington under a Trump administration, he would get a Big Mac rather than a state banquet. This is not as insulting as it seems.
President Xi famously does normal things, in front of gathered media. He ate a lunch of pork and onion buns, for example, in an everyday Beijing dumpling parlour (the equivalent of a bacon buttie in Greggs.) The owner even kept the chair as a memento of where the President had his buns.
Both are vying to appear as men of the people. Trump’s promise of simple food allowing him and Xi, in this hypothetical scenario, to "get down to business" is a reaction to the Chinese currency crisis and its negative impact on the rest of the world.
But there is a different race to the bottom going on here in China. Some sections of the commodities market are on the up and Scotland has a chance for making some money. The target is a deep Chinese fear of further slumping. And I’m not talking about the slumping of shares.
The first ever report on the cost of raw ingredients in Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM) just came out, revealing the price of Maca, a herb which boosts male sexual potency, is dropping and so ensuring demand is high.
Maca. It sounds like a Scottish greeting. Awright Maca?
It was with that Scottish connection in my head that I read further, to learn that the cost of other ingredients advancing men’s sexual vigour are soaring. Chiefly, caterpillar fungus, also known as Himalayan Viagra. It’s grown mostly on the Tibet plateau, is prized for its enhancing abilities, goes for almost £20,000 per kilogram – and there’s a shortage.
Scotland has caterpillars. Scotland has mountains. Mightn’t these two natural advantages combine to present a medical challenge to Himalayan Viagra? How about Nevis Range Viagra? Cairngorm Viagra? Ochils Viagra?
Getting one’s new Chinese medicine product recognized is not as difficult as you might think. The recent Chinese medicine and health products fair in Hong Kong featured many stalwarts: ginseng, allegedly a cure for back pain, and ganoderma, or medicinal mushrooms. But the fair also indicated Chinese consumers are willing to consider new sources for health. Quinoa, for example, was getting attention at the fair. It’s superfood from Peru, now grown in Tibet. So, why not a super fungus, formerly grown in Tibet and now harvested on Scotland’s Highlands?
And it’s not just that. Look away now if you are of a delicate disposition. Deer penises are historically ingredients in traditional Chinese medicine, as they’re thought to be a remedy for athletic injuries.
Deer culls happen in Scotland. The meat is sold on to the venison industry, but what happens to, er, other bits? If this stag part were to be a by-product of a cull anyway, then mightn’t they join Nevis Viagra as Scottish ingredients in the lucrative Chinese traditional medicine market?
Let’s go all the way back to Donald Trump. Having read this report, I advise Mr Trump to make sure it’s a Big Mac, not a Big Maca he gives President Xi. In a bid to come off as more ordinary, the latter would be one-upmanship the Chinese mightn’t be pleased with.
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