GOOD news for Glasgow book lovers - the new Waterstones store has opened in Byres Road. We liked the comment of crime writer Alex Gray when she cut the ribbon at the official opening and declared: "God bless this shop - and all who sell in her."

We sincerely hope it was a mistake when someone from Waterstone's was trying to write on its Facebook page that the lovely Sally Magnusson was going to be signing copies of her book at the store. The actual message stated: "Sadly Magnusson will be here at noon to sign books."

BRUCE Skivington, who was at the Edinburgh International Television Festival, tells us there was a pub quiz arranged by the researchers of the television programme QI. Says Bruce: "One of the questions was 'Which TV personality's father was the Queen Mother's accountant?' The answer is Jeremy Kyle. As someone then pointed out, perhaps he got the idea for his TV show from watching the Royal Family."

SUBTLE house names continued. Says Margaret Brown in Bonnyrigg: "The police station in Lasswade was quite small, surrounded by a few trees, and situated by the river Esk. It was closed down many years ago, subsequently sold and converted to a private house. It was renamed 'Copse Cottage', which I have always found very appropriate and amusing."

WE bump into BBC Scotland's Reevel Alderson who passes on: "I was looking up Sydney Devine’s 'Tiny Bubbles' on YouTube - don't ask - and I noticed the alternative tracks listed for viewers’ delectation included songs by Joe Dolan and the Alexander Brothers. And there, nestled among them was a video entitled 'This 1946 film shows actual footage of the destruction of the atomic bomb on Hiroshima'. The question therefore is: which is worse – an atomic bomb or Sydney Devine? "

A READER hears a woman in a Glasgow coffee shop explain to her pals: "I don't do Botox anymore because when I can't make my angry face, people just assume it's ok to talk to me."

OUR story about bookies Ladbrokes giving odds on the Partick Thistle mascot Kingsley becoming the new Scotland Editor at the BBC reminds Robin Gilmour: "Some years ago at Glasgow University, such was the indifference to the forthcoming election of the Rector that someone nominated a pot plant named Charlie. Sadly Charlie, which was expected to win by a landslide, was disqualified on the basis that it was not human."

Adds Robin: "If only more pot plants could be up for election nowadays."

A YOUNG reader emails the Diary to ask the heartfelt question: "If what I've bought is supposed to be a smartphone how come it doesn't stop me texting my ex when I'm drunk?"

SPORTS writer Patrick Barclay has just published his updated book on Chelsea boss Jose Mourinho in which he talks to folk about Jose taking his coaching certificate at Largs in Scotland. Keen to get some insight into the young Jose, Patrick asks former St Johnstone boss Paul Sturrock who was an assessor on the course, what he remembered about the young Portuguese coach. "I can't remember him," said a truthful Paul. Andy Roxburgh, the former Scotland manager was asked and he replied: "It's very difficult for me to recall every detail of every person who was on a course."

On to Scotland manager Gordon Strachan who said: "You don't really mix with people from other groups unless you stroll down to the pub for a chat in the evening - maybe Jose didn't go to the pub."

Surely we're not the only people wondering if Jose took one look at Largs and left immediately.