THE Herald reported yesterday that the Scots have 421 words to describe snow - more than the Inuits. The Diary's London contact phones to inform us: "It's funny though that you Scots have so many words for snow, yet no words for 'World Cup qualifying' or 'it's my turn to pay'."

SO what's been happening in Glasgow's pubs? Reader Jim Slavin from Linlithgow tells us: "A lady of indeterminate years ordered a drink at the Glasgow bar I was in and was presented with a beverage of a screaming shade of scarlet. A few minutes later she was joined by her friend who regarded her drink and demanded, 'Is that a sweetie or a swallie?' The friend then announced that she wasn't in the mood for a sweetie and ordered a swallie - which proved to be a large vodka and coke."

So now you know.

AND what's been happening in the cinema? "Went to see 'Everest' last night," emails a reader. "Very disappointing. Learnt nothing about conservatories or bi-fold doors."

SHOULD we believe the student who works part-time in Waitrose in Glasgow's west end who told his pals that a customer came over and told him she was looking for Oregano and Guava. He tried to give her directions to the correct aisles when she explained that she had lost sight of her young children.

CONJECTURE about whether Prime Minister David Cameron took part in a bizarre initiation ceremony at university involving a carcass rumbles on. Comedy actor Johnny Vegas put some perspective into the debate by commenting: "My initiation ceremony when I went to a polytechnic was filling out forms to secure a grant for free higher education as my parents were skint."

OUR attention is drawn to the local newspaper in Steamboat Springs, Colorada, where local lady Sophie Dingle is writing about moving from Italy to Kirkcaldy as her hubby is a professional ice hockey player. In truth Sophie explains that Scotland is very similar to America, everything works, and there have been no dramas at all. She even understands Fifers in the main, which is more than we can admit to. Explains Sophie: "We understand the language - except for when people are angry and yelling of course, and then I don’t think that they’re speaking English anyway."

Gently prodded on the changes from Italy, she admits that in Italy people don't drink red wine before noon and no cappuccinos after noon, but in Scotland, "I’ve seen people drinking beer at 10 a.m. and cappuccinos at 4 p.m., so it doesn’t seem like the laws of drinking are as strict as they are in Italy." Yes, that's very true of Fife.

WE mentioned car company Volkswagen in trouble over its dodgy test results. Says one reader: "I just bought a new VW and then I saw the news - I'm really fuming." And another phones to ask: "Do you think their new advertising slogan will be 'Emission impossible'?"

FAMED American baseball player and coach Yogi Berra has died at the age of 90. He is sometimes mocked for some of the sayings attributed to him, but you have to agree they do make sense, sort of. Such as: "It was impossible to get a conversation going. Everyone was talking too much." And "You can observe a lot by just watching." It would have been nice if the Motherwell or Rangers manager this week had quoted Yogi and exclaimed: "You wouldn't have won if we'd beaten you."