THE names of hairdressing shops have often amused or bemused us. At the Scottish Hair and Beauty Awards at the weekend, Men's Stylist of the Year was Colin Andrews, who works at Medusa Hair in Edinburgh. Now we all know that Medusa was a hideous monster with living venomous snakes instead of hair who could turn onlookers into stone. "Well that's a good name for a hairdresser's" said someone who went ahead and opened a salon. Any other favourite names?
TALKING of awards, Greg Hemphill of Still Game fame was attending the Scottish Music Awards in Glasgow on Friday when he was asked why he was still sporting a full beard. Greg ranted in a tongue-in-cheek fashion: "Oh so the hipsters are now saying that beards are no longer fashionable. Well let me tell you this hipsters, beards have been around since the time of Jesus. That's 2000 years, so you did not invent the beard."
Greg carried on into the hall, and someone who had been listening asked an onlooker: "Did Greg Hemphill just say that Jesus was the first hipster?"
ENTERTAINER Andy Cameron writes to us: "The story of the guy whose wife was critical of him prompts me to write to tell you that my wife says I'm a nosey wee so-and-so.Well, she didn't actually say it to me - I read it in her diary.
"A Happy Whatever-Doesn't-Offend-You to all your readers, Andy."
What a sensible way to end a letter at this time of year, we thought.
WE read in the sports pages that Sports Direct owner Mike Ashley is demanding the return of the £5m that he loaned to Rangers. An Ayrshire reader suggests a solution. "I bought something from Sports Direct, took it back, and expected a refund, but was given only a credit note. After several attempts, I still only have a credit note. I believe that technically Mike Ashley is one of my creditors.
"Maybe what Rangers should do is give Mike Ashley a credit note. Job done."
NOSTALGIA alert! Our story about cycling over tram lines without falling reminds a reader: "My late father Bill suffered the ultimate embarrassment of having his 'rectum kiss the cobbled streets' when, as a young cop on points duty near Glasgow Cross in the late thirties, he was knocked down by a tram. Fortunately he was not injured, but never recovered from the discomfiture of being unable to explain how it happened or how he was able later to become a successful solicitor. You could kind of guess where a tram was going, and not very fast either."
GETTING old, continued. A Bearsden reader phones us: "The biggest lie I tell myself is, 'I don't need to write that down. I'll remember it'."
ST ANDREW'S Day yesterday, and some folk used it as an excuse to tell their worst Scottish jokes on social media. The worst/best we came across really only makes sense to anyone old enough to have used a phone box, but anyway here goes: "Drunk, 'Operator, this phone isnae workin'. Operator, 'Is there money in the box?' Drunk, 'Naw, I'm just here masel'."
I PASS a group of colleagues discussing whether having a pet dog was a good idea or not. One of them tried to end the conversation by declaring: "A dog is the perfect pet if you enjoy loitering awkwardly in the cold watching an animal poo."
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