OUR stories about snobbery remind Ronnie MacQuarrie of two posh-sounding English chaps he overheard in a ski-lift queue in Livigno in the Italian Alps. Says Ronnie: "One remarked that it was rather busy that day and the other said he heard that there was some sort of banking convention taking place. He then added after a pause, 'One would have thought that being bankers they would have gone to Davos or St Moritz.' His pal replied, 'They're probably clerks'."

THE Celtic Connections music festival continues in Glasgow, and we didn't realise the difficulties of changing your clothes. As Ross Wilson of Blue Rose Code remarked on social media: "Honestly, only a week at Celtic Connections and already I look like I've fallen over in a jumble sale. Need to get myself to a launderette..."

NOT all musicians in Scotland are at Celtic Connections. A trio from Cape Breton played to a packed house on Skye on Saturday at Sabhal Mòr Ostaig as part of Seall - Skye Events for All. They included the Hon. Rodney MacDonald, who is as well known as a fiddler and step-dancer as well as being a former Premier of Nova Scotia province in Canada. Event promoter Duncan MacInnes suggested to us that "if every politician could play and dance as well as Rodney, the world would be a much better place." Seall now plans an annual Ex-Premier concert and will invite Alex Salmond to come with an instrument of his choice.

THE Herald story about entertainer Jonathan Watson having to recite Tam O Shanter twice when a guest became unwell at The Lord Provost's Burns Supper in Glasgow, reminds retired trade union official Willie Gibson: "At a Supper in North Glasgow College a few years back, whilst I was in full flow, a mobile phone rang. Fortunately for me, it was as I was approaching the lines, 'There sat Auld Nick, in shape o Beast.' Without breaking pace I was able to insert, 'And there He is phoning you'."

HISTORY of a sort was made when Glasgow Warriors played their first game at the confusingly named football ground, Rugby Park, in Kilmarnock. Tom Rafferty who was there says: "In the Sportsman's Bar, beforehand, I was thinking the rugby crowd today is different from the usual clientele. The barman looked very puzzled when the chap beside me asked, 'What red wine do you have?' The answer, after a long pause, was 'Red'."

LORD Parkinson, the former Tory Cabinet Minister, has died. When he had an affair with his secretary, the magazine Private Eye would refer to such indiscretions as "Ugandan affairs". Margaret Thatcher's biographer Charles Moore once observed: "Though witty with some of her one-liners, she could not understand jokes, especially jokes with punchlines, or innuendo, and had no clue what the Private Eye reference to 'Ugandan affairs' meant in relation to Cecil Parkinson’s affair with Sarah Keays. 'I know it’s untrue', she exclaimed. 'He’s never been to Africa'.”

SNOW in America continued. Says Richard Fowler in Kilmarnock: "Surely the hot air emissions from the mouth of Donald Trump could be used to ensure rapid snow clearance and return to normalcy?"