THE big charity run Race for Life took place through Glasgow's city centre at the weekend. The runners were going past The Counting House pub at George Square where a female onlooker with a generous girth pointed out a thin runner in skin-tight Lycra and told her boyfriend: "I could look like that."
She is presumably still working out his punishment after he replied: "Aye. Only in one of these fairground mirrors."
SHOUTING out at concerts, continued. A reader in Rhu tells us: "For several years there was a guy who seemed to appear at every rock concert in the city. His claim to fame? During every show he would wait until there was a quiet passage of music or a hush between songs before bawling out, 'Hallo! Ahm oan yer bootleg'!”
More sotto voce was George Tomlinson's girlfriend when they attended a concert at Glasgow's Woodside Halls given by famous sitar player Ravi Shankar. Says George: "Ravi was into his second or third morning raga, the tonal framework for composition and improvisation, when my girlfriend whispered to me, 'Has he tuned up yet'?"
RANGERS Football Club surprised a few folk with its extremely robust views of the Hibernian fans' pitch invasion after the Scottish Cup Final. As one Rangers fan put it: "If we defended corners as well as we defend the club from daft journalists and politicians we’d have won on Saturday.”
And John Delaney in Lochwinnoch takes a fresh look at the old Hibs cup-winning statistic by commenting: "Did you know that Rangers are the first team not to beat Hibs in a Scottish Cup Final for 114 years?"
A BEARSDEN reader passes on her friend's comment after they met up for a cup of coffee. Her friend sank into her chair in the cafe and announced: "Based on the amount of laundry I did today I have to assume there are people living in my house that I haven't met yet."
AS others see us. Foster Evans wonders if there are no dialogue coaches in Holywood to help actors with their scripts after watching James Spader in TV series The Blacklist asking fellow actor Brian Dennehy for a Highland malt as he "didn't want the iodine taste of those Izzlay malts."
TALKING of actors, Dundee's Brian Cox is currently filming the part of Winston Churchill in a movie about the wartime Prime Minister. We recall writer Neil Forsyth explaining at Edinburgh International Book Festival how Brian agreed to appear as his comic character Bob Servant for a Radio Scotland adaptation of his book Delete This At Your Peril.
Brian confessed to Neil he had not read the book, but was won over when his teenage son took the unread book into the toilet and Brian could hear him laughing. As Neil told his audience: "I owe it all to the fact Brian Cox's son needed to take a dump."
PARENTING is always a tricky business. A reader hears a chap in a Glasgow pub explain: "I make my son's lunch for him before he goes off to school. Then the other day he comes home and complains that I don't put any wee notes in it like other parents do. So today I wrote him a lovely wee letter saying,'Sorry I ate your pudding'."
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