A SCORCHER in Glasgow yesterday. Fair cheered most folk up. But as Eddy Cavin tells us: "My son Tom, who has lived in Melbourne for 16 years, told me that just yesterday, Melbournians were walking about and complaining about how cold it was as they dug out the winter coat and hat. In Glasgow yesterday, it was known as 'taps aff'' weather, when the sun is shining and people remove layers of clothing to bask in glorious solar delight.

"It was the same temperature."

NATURALLY we bring you the important points about the European Union referendum. Asks reader Christine Martin: "Has anyone thought of selling 'E U Jimmy' hats?"

THE Music of Black Origin (Mobo) awards are returning to Glasgow's Hydro this year. They've been going for 20 years now, and we come across a Herald review of the awards when they were on the television 17 years ago. The Herald caustically stated: "As if Mel G wasn't bad enough, then we had to suffer Tina Turnoff doing her legs-akimbo-arthritic-monkey-having-a-seizure dance again. And considering they picked up a couple of gongs, you'd think the young women who comprise Destiny's Child could have afforded trousers that didn't have holes in them."

It was tongue-in-cheek, surely?

HIBERNIAN issued a statement yesterday about fans who caused trouble after the Scottish Cup Final at Hampden. It said: "Sanctions including life bans and indefinite bans have been imposed so far."

This confused some football followers. As the fans' site Pie and Bovril commented: "What's the difference between a lifetime ban and an indefinite ban? Do you get back in when you die under the lifetime option?"

CONGRATULATIONS to Stones guitarist Ronnie Wood becoming a father of twins at the age of 68. We always remember his memorable quote when he was once asked about the legendary thriftiness of his old mate Rod Stewart. "Rod," said Ronnie, "is tighter than two coats of paint."

WE bump into BBC Scotland's top reporter Reevel Alderson who confides: "I am sure you have noticed the Interpol Pollution Crime Working Group is visiting Glasgow next week. And that delegates can look forward to a speech from the appropriately-named Joseph Poux of the US Justice Department."

NEWS agencies reported that a missile launch in North Korea was unsuccessful. A reader gets in touch to tell us: "Despite the test failure, President Kim Jong Un has vowed to continue the North Korean nuclear rocket programme - once he finishes the next bottle of Fairy Liquid."

A READER hears a chap in a Glasgow pub declare: "Women only call me ugly until they find out how much money I've got." He then added: "Then they call me ugly and poor."

WE mentioned Matt Vallance reporting on the Junior cup final between Beith and Pollok down at Kilmarnock Park. Matt tells us: "That was my 30th final, my 27th reporting. One of the Kilmarnock staff greeted me with, 'Christ, are you no deid yet?' Nice to have friends in low places."