BEN Wright's just published book "Order! Order! The Rise and Fall of Political Drinking" explores how alcohol has affected politicians, and as you might imagine, includes the classic tale of Labour's Foreign Secretary George Brown on a trip to Brazil making a beeline for a gorgeously crimson-clad figure at a drinks reception for visiting dignitaries from Peru, and asking for a dance. He was told: "There are three reasons why I will not dance with you. First, I fear your are drunk. Secondly, that is not a waltz the orchestra is playing but Peru's national anthem. And thirdly, I am the Archbishop of Lima."

Author Ben Wright observes: "The one small caveat to this magnificent tale is that it is probably not true."

WELL that's most of the Highers finished at Scottish schools, and the poor things have just got to wait for the results now to find out if they are getting into the university of their choice. It reminds us of the tale of the university graduation in Scotland where a reader swears to us he saw a sobbing grandmother hold-on to her graduating grandson and tell him: "Your parents would have been so proud seeing you up on that stage today."

After giving him another squeeze she added: "It's a shame they couldn't be bothered to come."

WE mentioned the sad death of Scots trade union leader Ken Cameron, former general secretary of the Fire Brigades Union, whose funeral was this week. Ken was a great supporter of many political causes, and colleague John McGhee recalled leaving a Scottish FBU meeting in Glasgow when they were crossing St Enoch's Square just as a small fascist rally was being filmed for an episode of Taggart. Ken, not realising it was actors, heard the right-wing slogans being shouted, and immediately veered across the square to remonstrate with the protesters.

RELATIONSHIPS explained in Glasgow pubs, continued. A reader tells us he heard a chap in one such pub tell his pals: "So the girlfriend out of the blue asked me if I thought it was possible to love the one person for the rest of your life. Apparently my reply of, 'If I find the right person' was not the right answer."

DONALD Trump, as The Herald reported, is expected to face protests when he flies into Scotland later this month to reopen the Ailsa course at Turnberry. A reader phones to ask: "Donald Trump visiting Scotland. Should we build a wall?"

And Tory deputy leader in Scotland Jackson Carlaw observed: "I gather that the good people of Ayr are concerned that Donald Trump will insist on the town being renamed Trumpton."

THE SECC in Glasgow announced that Welsh rock band Catfish and the Bottlemen are playing there this November. Unusual name you might think, but a band member explained that he was visiting Sydney where a busker was playing tunes on wine bottles. He called himself Catfish the Bottleman, so he remembered the name when they were trying to think of what to call the band.

Incidentally, we hope the sound system is better at the SECC than when they played a smaller Glasgow venue last year. The Herald review declared, perhaps a tad sniffily: "The band's sound was dreadfully quiet. Instead of big, bolshie anthems being powered out, we had something that was akin to listening to a cassette through a malfunctioning ghetto blaster in 1984."

AH workplace banter. A reader is planning how to get even after he went into his Glasgow office yesterday and a colleague told him: "You don't seem to be yourself today." Then added: "I noticed the improvement immediately."