OUR story of protesters at the US Consulate reminds Lachlan Bradley: "I helped organise a teachers' rally in Ayr in the 1980s where at the Low Green a minibus arrived and a number of young police officers disembarked. One of them said to the sergeant, 'Are we expecting any trouble today Sarge?' The sergeant gave him a withering look and replied, 'Son, they are teachers. If you blow a whistle they'll all line up in twos'."

A SHAWLANDS reader was in a branch of Boots the Chemist where he was asking for products to help folk stop snoring. The woman assistant came round to show him on which aisle they were on, and she remarked there was less call for them these days. When our reader asked why, she replied: "I think most of the women have just left their snoring men." Warming to her theme she then added: "I've heard there's something new on the market - a mallet."

WE mentioned teachers enjoying the summer break, and one Glasgow teacher swears to us that when marking the last crop of homework before the break, she wrote in the top right corner of one essay jotter "Date?" as she was fed up with pupils who forgot to write when the homework was done. She needed a holiday when one pupil wrote below it: "No thanks. I'm too young to be in a relationship."

AN AYRSHIRE reader was at his golf-club where one of the regulars announced: "I told the wife that I wanted an agreement where I would see the kids every second weekend."

There was a pause before he added: "But she added that as we were still married and lived together then I had to see them every day."

WE asked what a time traveller from the sixties would find strange about today. A reader instead looks to the future and says: "After all that has happened, it's a good bet that if you are doing a pub quiz in 20 years time, and a question begins, 'In what year...' it's probably a pretty safe bet to put '2016'."

SAYS Doug Maughan: "The story about the Glaswegian asking a fortune teller what hotel he was staying in reminds me of a pilot colleague arriving in Singapore who headed back to the crew hotel after a few beers and found the key card didn’t open the door, so it was down to reception to complain and get another one, then off to bed.

"Next morning he woke to find that somebody had stolen all he had with him, bar the clothes he’d been wearing the night before. However, after some reflection, he remembered that the crew hotel had changed the month before – he was in the wrong hotel. Cue a rapid exit."

GOOD draw for Celtic yesterday in Kazakhstan. Fellow Celtic fans will appreciate the reaction amongst the crowd in a Glasgow pub yesterday when Leigh Griffiths scored the equaliser. As everyone was cheering one Celtic supporter was heard muttering: "Nothing silly now Ambrose, please."

SADLY I'm a magnet for all the bad jokes in the office. A colleague interrupts to tell me: "Always keep emergency flares in your car." I wait. "You never know when you'll be invited to a 70s disco," he adds.