FINALLY, some good weather in Scotland. Says Gerry MacKenzie: "After some toil in the garden I took several bags to the tip. The bags filled the tailgate of my car where Winston, my miniature schnauzer, is usually berthed. He temporarily occupied the rear seat. I reversed up to the appropriate skip, emptied my bags and then opened the rear passenger door. I lifted Winston up to give him his usual place, saying, 'In you go, wee man', when a woman yelled across, 'Don't do it, don't fling him in. I'll take him'.
"It was only when she started laughing I realised she hadn't actually taken me for a psychopath."
IN Glasgow, folk were desperate for a seat in the sun. Basement bar The Hippo Taproom on Sauchiehall Street, fearing a loss of business, countered on social media with: "You are Scottish. The sun is not your friend. Come hide in a basement. We have beer. Beer is your friend."
THE Herald news story about one of Sir Harry Lauder's crooked walking stick's being up for auction in Edinburgh reminds us of veteran TV and film director once taking American singer Danny Kay to see Sir Harry in his home near Glasgow. Said Joe: "Sir Harry gave Danny one of his souvenir walking sticks. Danny thought it was a one-off - he was thrilled. Then I told him Sir Harry had hundreds of gift walking sticks stashed in a cupboard, for visitors. It went straight out the car window."
THE Edinburgh Fringe continues, and as Ben MacLean points out, being in Edinburgh during the Festival makes you see things differently. Said Ben: "I saw Hare Krishnas singing in Edinburgh and mistakenly thought at first, 'Man! Everyone's out promoting a show at the Fringe."
It's also the time of year when newspapers do tedious lists of favourite Fringe jokes. The only ones we would salvage from one list we saw was Darren Walsh: "Just switched from eating venison to pheasant. Absolute game-changer." And Henry Paker: "Are headphones getting bigger, or are idiots getting smaller?"
NICE Fringe story from Derek Crawford Munn's one man play at the Gilded Balloon where he plays the Nazi leader Rudolf Hess who spent most of his life in Spandau Prison after flying to Scotland during the war. Someone who saw the play commented on-line that his portrayal was "outstanding". Fair enough, you might say, but the chap, an Allan Alstead from Edinburgh, added that he had actually guarded Hess in Spandau and had met him three times. Now that's impressive.
WHAT'S happening over in th American Presidential election? A reader across the pond sends us a cutting of an obituary in The Times-Picayune, the local paper in New Orleans. The notice from the deceased's family begins: "William Ziegler escaped this mortal realm on July 29 at the age of 69. We think he did it on purpose to avoid having to make a decision in the pending presidential election.”
A READER hears a young man out for a pint in Glasgow tell his pals: "I bought my girlfriend a fridge for her birthday. Not a great gift I know, but you should have seen her face light up when she opened it."
THOUGHT a colleague was on holiday, but no, here he comes. "A police officer stopped me and asked if he could have my name" he tells us.
I told him, 'You could, but it would be an amazing coincidence'."
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