WHO knew the dangers of watching the new series of The Great British Bake Off? A West End woman confessed to her friends yesterday: "Watching Bake Off which I'd recorded and they're making Jaffa Cakes. Had a bit of a notion. Whole pack eaten and I feel sick."

TIMES have changed at the Edinburgh Fringe since a Herald Arts Editor years ago stood at a bar and asked what time it was. When he was told it was seven o'clock, he rocked a little before asking: "AM or PM?" Anyway, we hear that The Black Bottle whisky company, which is sponsoring Brooke’s Bar at the Pleasance Fringe venue, offered free samples of their cocktail named "Five Star" to any performers at the Pleasance who got a five star review. Out of about 50 shows that qualified only three have asked for their free drinks.

As one veteran at the Pleasance tells us: "Frankly it’s quite disgraceful. In the old days there would have been a stampede and we would have drunk the bar dry.”

TOUGH draw for Celtic in Europe. As STV reporter Douglas Barrie put it: "More games between Celtic and Barca, a battle of Britain, and Scottish journos learning how to type 'Monchengladbach'.

And as a sports journo colourfully described it: "Glamour draw for Celtic with more than a hint of danger. Like winching a super model with a bad temper and a pick axe."

A NEWTON Mearns reader phones to say: "I had to agree with the youngster in our local Waitrose store who asked his mum after looking at some cartons, 'How do you milk almonds?'"

OUR gag about opticians yesterday reminds a reader: "I was at the wedding of an optician where the minister said to his future wife, 'Do you, Karen, take David the optician to be your lawfully wedded husband, for better or worse? Better... or worse? Better... or worse? "

THE Herald's archive picture the other day of Celtic's Jock Stein and Rangers' Willie Henderson meeting Prime Minister Harold Wilson in Glasgow reminds Willie of that day. He tells us: "I asked him about the pipe that he always had in his hand. He said that he carried it in case any journalist asked an awkward question. He would then take a minute to fill it with tobacco which gave him time to think of a good answer."

Oh and a few readers have studied the archive picture of the Edinburgh matron passing Jimmy Logan outside the King's and say her lapel badge is not a Lifeboats' charity flag, but the old Church of Scotland Woman's Guild badge. Is that why she ignored the panto stars?

RETURNING holidaymakers continued. Says Finlay Buchanan: "I was on holiday in Italy and visited the Roman amphitheatre in Capua. There was a warning sign at the entrance which had helpfully been translated into English - including the phrase, 'Trespassers will be persecuted' ... a bit severe, even by the standards of Ancient Rome."

WE have to agree with Craig Deeley who makes the observation: "There's no way of closing a window on the bus without appearing grumpy."

A COLLEAGUE seems to appear out of nowhere and tells us: "My ex-wife texted me to say she had made a voodoo doll of me."

We wait. "I think she's pulling my leg," he added.

DAVID Martin says: "Today's Courier in Dundee carries a headline which tells of Waterfront progress, stating 'New Station On Track'. Surely that's the last place you want it?"