THE memorial service to Sir Terry Wogan next week reminds James Simpson in Erskine: "Terry would give a tip for a horse running that day on his radio show called Wogan's Winners. As very few tips ever came good, it was later pulled.

"Soon after, Terry was on-air reading a long winded letter from a disgruntled listener who was explaining he had won a fortune on Wogan's Winners and had been able to build a house, take holidays, and buy a car from the proceeds. He ended the letter by demanding a reinstatement of Wogan's Winners and signed off, 'Yours Sincerely, William Hill'.

Any other Terry memories?

CHILDREN at school, continued. Says retired teacher Moira Campbell: "One day a colleague put in the school notices that she had stick insects and if anyone wanted one they had to bring a jar and a bit of privet hedge.This confused my second years. I overheard one ask, 'Is that a hedge round a garden and not a park?' His pal replied, 'I thought it was toilet in the garden'. I told the teacher to just say hedge next time.

WE also wandered off into school residential trips, and entertainer Andy Cameron reminisces: "We went from Farie Street School in Ru'glen with other Lanarkshire schools to Glenconner Camp at Abington. I can still recall an unfortunate lad from Coatbridge called Melvin stung several times on his bottom lip by wasps. Then as he passed the swings a lassie from Wishaw jumped off and poor Melvin caught it right on his swollen lip.

"To be fair it could hardly have missed as said bottom lip could be seen from the Moon. Happy days...sadly not for Melvin."

A READER hears a woman in the west end exclaim: "I drink a glass of red wine a day for health benefits." She then added: "The other three glasses are just for me."

THE Herald story that sculptor Andy Scott has managed to get the burger van beside his giant horse-head creations The Kelpies moved reminds us of when Andy was making the horses and thought about giving them individual names. He knew his great grandfather worked with a horse and so he sent a quest to aged family members to discover its name. Eventually a reply came from an aged great aunt in Canada. The horse was called Ned. Andy thought about that, then shelved the idea - who would want to go to Falkirk to see the Neds?

TODAY'S piece of whimsy comes from David Stubley in Prestwick who tells us: "Just heard the chef Hugh Fearnley-Whittingstall on the radio discussing elephant poaching. I thought is there no end to that man's culinary talents?"

SINGER Craig David has been nominated for the black music awards, the Mobos, being held in Glasgow later this year. Craig has the odd claim to fame of being mentioned in the court case of Charles Ingram, accused of cheating on the quiz show Who Wants to be a Millionaire. At £32,000, he answered A1 as having a hit with Born To Do It then quickly changed his answer to Craig David - the right answer.

He admitted in court he had never heard of Craig David but had changed his answer, not because someone was tipping him off, but because the audience had gasped when he said A1. So found guilty because you hadn't heard of Craig David - sounds harsh.