GREAT to see the BBC's Still Game back on TV with over a million Scots watching the show on Friday night. As Connie McKechnie summed it up: "Not a single car has passed my window since Still Game started."

There were of course carpers. But as actor Gavin Mitchell, who plays barman Boabby in the show, explained to someone who questioned how long it took to get Jack Jarvis out of the bath: "Shut it! They're auld 'n' that. Away and pick holes in something else. This is fun - no The Da Vinci Code."

A READER combines his love of films with frustration at a daily nuisance at home by telling us: "You had me at hello. You lost me have you been in an accident that wasn't your fault?"

OUR tales of workplace nicknames had led to some folk in management confessing to what they were called by staff. Says reader Bill Nelson: "It reminds me of when I was personnel manager at the old John Brown shipyard in Clydebank, and we were having labour trouble. "A union official arrived to discuss the problem and greeted me with, 'So, you're Dr No'."

SAYS Dave Biggart in Kilmalcolm: "The article in The Herald about Pravda setting up an Edinburgh Office reminded me of the headline in the infamous Russian newspaper when President Khrushchev was holding talks with President Kennedy at the time of the Cuban missile crises.

"It read, 'In his first ever game of golf, President Khrushchev came second. President Kennedy came next to last."

A PARTICK reader tells us he heard a woman in a Byres Road coffee shop making a plan with her pal declare: "So we're on for next Friday then. I'll just phone you on the Thursday to rearrange it."

A READER in America explains the latest news stories from the States by telling us: "So God says to his angels, 'Well have you given them a bit of a fright then?' 'Yes, we've got Donald Trump standing for President.' 'Good, anything else?'

"'Oh and we've also sent a hurricane'. 'Still not enough,' said God. 'Send in the clowns'."

TALKING of the excitable news stories about folk dressing up as clowns to scare people, even Police Scotland has warned that folk could get into trouble for doing so.

Inevitably a Newton Mearns father could not stop himself from telling his 17-year-old daughter getting ready for a night out: "I'd go easy on that make-up if I were you. Wouldn't want someone reporting you to the police over this clown craze."

THE office is too quiet on a Sunday as it allowed a colleague to come up to me and declare: "I got food poisoning today." I try to look sympathetic before he added: "Don't know when I'm going to use it."

BRUCE Skivingston reads the latest news stories about Ukip and declares: "No one can accuse Ukip of not punching above their weight."