ONE in six men have experienced sexual abuse. It's a shocking figure but it’s based on good evidence. It comes from a 2005 study of 8000 men in San Diego, published in the American Journal of Preventive Medicine. Other studies in the USA have rates of 14% and 18% and we, in Scotland, have no reason to believe that our society is much different. These figures may be underestimates because men are less likely to disclose than women.
In Scotland this equates to over 400,000 men or almost the entire population of Edinburgh. For women and girls the figures are much worse at around one in three or four. While sexual abuse of females has been largely acknowledged by our society, the perception that men can be affected still appears to be a blind spot. Men are still expected to be anything except weak and vulnerable.
My experience is that men perceive disclosure as a very high risk, more so than the women that I have worked with. They anticipate disparagement, mockery and in the case of a female perpetrator, congratulations for being so lucky, when their experience was one of violation. Most abusers are men, so boys experiencing sexual attention from men have the extra component of confusion around their sexuality - “Does this mean that I am gay?"
And what is the consequence of male sexual abuse? A study in the USA reported that childhood abuse has measurable consequences on life expectancy, as well as physical, emotional and psychological wellbeing. The effects extend beyond the men to their partners, families and communities. The effects of abuse can appear as post traumatic stress and depression, alcohol and drug abuse and other addictions, suicidal thoughts and attempts, domestic violence, problems in intimate relationships and offending against society.
These men are not weak for being scarred by their abuse, they are having a normal response to deep trauma. They are haunted by ghosts of uncertainty about what really happened and their part in it. This kind of abuse is typically accompanied by grooming and manipulation that ensure the child’s silence and co-operation. They were children, socialised to trust their elders and follow instructions. In football, the abusers were the men who would facilitate their future careers. As adults they are unable to suddenly overturn this early conditioning and see things as they really were.
There are very few dedicated resources for a man to turn to if he decides to speak out, publicly or in private. Counselling and therapy can be enormously useful especially if the professional has a deeper understanding of the area. Mike Lew wrote the classic work on male sexual abuse “Victims no Longer”. It is described as a guide to recovery. That’s why the charity that I founded is called Men in Recovery (www.meninrecovery.org ). We run weekend retreats to aid men reclaim personal power and create healthy relationships. It’s hard work and not very glamorous. Bit it is possible.
Sportsmen are calling attention to an area where men have felt too ashamed and too scared to admit their experiences. Whilst most men will quietly go off and find a therapist to support them, there is a real usefulness in the kind of public revelations that are appearing just now in bringing this topic out of the halls of shame. I have deep respect for these men who are stepping forward.
Stephen Linturn is the founder of Men in Recovery, a Scottish charity which helps men recovering from the trauma of sexual abuse
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