Not a clue

OUR story about the teenager being asked to prove his age at a Glasgow club reminds James Scott in Singapore: “I was waiting with friends to get into a pub in Dundee when the two young ladies in front of us were asked by the doorman, ‘Have you any ID?’ To which came the reply, ‘Aboot whit?’”

Lowering the tones

SAD to hear of the death of former Rangers player Roger Hynd, who played in the 1967 Cup-Winners’ Cup final. He once appeared  in the television documentary The Football Men talking about his  uncle, Liverpool manager Bill Shankly.

He recalled a match between the team Bill once had a trial for, Glenbuck Cherrypickers, in Ayrshire and rivals from Ardeer when even the band that accompanied Ardeer got involved in a fight on the pitch. Thus Roger came out with the memorable line: “One of the Cherrypickers got a battering with a dulcimer.”

Third time lucky

WE liked baking supremo Mary Berry telling the Radio Times this week that her husband Paul had to ask her to marry him thee times before she would accept. She rejected his first two attempts because he had been drinking, but as Paul argued: “It’s a big step, you need a bit of fortification.”

In poor taste

READER John Henderson reads the headline “What Abraham Lincoln Can Teach Donald Trump” in the magazine Newsweek, and wonders if the advice is: “Go to the theatre as often as possible.”

Timeless advice

WISE words from a woman meeting her pals in Glasgow’s Corinthian Bar on Saturday night who told them: “The trouble with being punctual is that there is nobody there to appreciate it.”

Damned by faint praise

WE  were perusing the holiday site Tripadvisor, where the many complimentary reviews for Edinburgh Castle were marred by one recent English visitor o made us smile by stating: “I arrived in Edinburgh on crutches and I pushed myself and managed to get up to the castle grounds and then felt I couldn’t just give up there, so we paid the £16.50 entry fee each.

“I think I would probably have felt more excitement had I just thrown my money over the castle wall.”

Going to pot

WE pass on the latest social media message from Levenmouth Police in Fife who say: “Over 130 cannabis plants seized in Methil. If yer indoor forrest is no longer where you left it, pop in for a blether.”

Bit of a swinger

THE Royal and Ancient Golf Club in St Andrews has made Jose Maria Olazabal, twice winner of the Masters, an honorary member. We recall him joking that, on his first visit to the Augusta golf course, the grass on the fairway was so perfect that he thinned his first few iron shots because he felt bad about taking a divot out of the perfect turf.