Divine intervention
OUR story about students reminded a Milngavie reader of his time years ago at Glasgow Yoonie when his class handed in essays and their professor reminded them that they should
not have got anyone to help them write it.
One Smart Alex declared that he had prayed to God before writing it, so did that count.
The professor merely replied: “I’ve had a quick glance at it. Trust me, he didn’t help you.”
Got to leave
BIRTHDAY greetings yesterday to singer Roger Whittaker, who was 81. Says Keith McClory: “I wonder if he ever did go back to Durham after all those years?”
Where his lawyer’s heading
NOMINATIVE determinism is the theory that some people gravitate towards jobs which reflect their names.
Clydebank farmer Stuart Christie thought that was fair enough when his banker was Sandra Ledger, but was slightly concerned when his accountant was David Cheetham and his lawyer was Stuart Clink.
Took a bit of a knock
DAFT story of the day comes from a reader in Aberdeen, who emails: “I went back to my home town and decided to visit the house I grew
up in.
“I went up and knocked on the door and asked the folk who live there if I could go inside and see my old room. They said no.
“I have to tell you, my parents can be really mean at times.”
Hello, it’s me
THAT great singer Emeli Sande is to perform at Edinburgh Castle in July. We well remember that before she was famous she did a gig at Oran Mor in Glasgow’s west end which attracted some 500 punters, despite it being mid-week.
Turned out that Emeli was performing under her real name of Adele and a few folk got confused abut who they were going to hear. It was a great gig anyway by all accounts.
Bit of a blow
A PARTICK reader says he heard some young women discussing their fitness levels the other day when one of them declared: “My current fitness level is putting the hairdryer down after five minutes because it’s
too heavy.”
Make a note of it
OUR bad pun about Vera Lynn provokes John Mulholland to tell us: “I went to a charity shop to buy a Ravi Shankar costume. Clothes but no sitar.”
Fringe performer
WRITER Deedee Cuddihy is delighted that her self-published book The Wee Guide to Scottish Women has been reprinted in time for Mother’s Day.
The little book of anecdotes about mothers includes the woman who told Deedee: “When my fringe gets really long my mum always says to me, ‘You’re like a coo lookin’ through mist!’”
Pitched in
A COLLEAGUE hadn’t told me anything daft for a while, so he didn’t disappoint when he strolled over and declared: “My folks were so poverty stricken we used goalposts for jumpers.”
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