The future, in 28 words
DRIVEN to distraction by all the political turmoil we’re currently enduring? Maddened by the sense of drift emanating from Number 10? Let bestselling author Robert Harris - Fatherland, Enigma, The Ghost, etcetera - clarify the medium-term future. Writing on Twitter, Harris predicts:
May resigns, Boris PM
Boris sex scandal, Davis PM
UK leaves EU, no deal
Tories lose election
Corbyn = 5th UK PM in 3 yrs
Queen dies
The End.
Thanks to Foster Evans for pointing us in the direction of Harris’s words. They make interesting reading, though the monarch might possibly beg to differ.
No stone left unturned
STILL on the subject of politics, Gilbert MacKay wonders: “Am I alone in thinking how appropriate it is that the PhD of the new Scottish Tory peer, MEP Ian Duncan, is in the study of fossils?”
Sad passing
A CHARITY shop in Edinburgh has closed its doors because of what it describes as difficult trading conditions. “Sad to report that the Age Concern shop has passed away”, says reader John Neil. “Mind you, it was a good age”.
High-flying student
A COMMENDABLE outburst of honesty from Lord Seb Coe, recalling his days as a student.
Asked by the Times Higher Education magazine what kind of undergraduate he was, he confesses: “Pretty crap, really. I was trying to balance everything with two or three training sessions a day.
“I had a history tutor who said, charitably but with a slight snarl, that I was the only history student who regularly handed in essays on British Airways notepaper. I slithered my way through”.
In the same interview, Seb says that the one thing he taught himself to do in sport was to sleep well. Which was fine, apart from the time when he slept so well that he had to be woken up perilously close to a European final - and thus had only 20 minutes to warm up.
Signs of ageing
WE asked for some of the signs that mean you’re getting old.
A sample:
* “You know you’re getting old when you prefer tea in the garden centre to T in the Park”. (John Mulholland)
* “You know you’re getting old when ... Sorry - what was the question again?” (BrassNeil)
* “You know you’re getting old when even the police retirees look young”. (David Chadwick)
* “You know you’re getting old when your granddaughter asks if her grandfather, a retired Shipbuilding Design Engineer, was involved in the building of the Titanic”. (Phyllis Strachan).
Dougie Campbell, clearly indulging a satirical sense of humour, says: “You know you’re getting old when the Herald diarist looks young in his photograph”.
More tomorrow. If we remember, that is.
Presidential pardon?
JOHN Maidment refers us to news reports suggesting that eating cheese can help repair hearing damage. Some 600 US army troops will undergo a trial diet to prove the theory. John says President Trump is all for it, as it could make America grate again.
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