It’s been a good week for ... diplomacy

It’s good to see that tensions over Brexit have not stopped us spreading our wings. Scottish conservationists are helping to restore a breeding population of ospreys to the Basque Country of Spain.

The birds of prey were once native to the area, but it has not had a breeding pair for more than a century. Working with Forest Enterprise Scotland, the Roy Dennis Wildlife Foundation has been collecting chicks under licence in north-east Scotland, to be released at the Urdaibai Estuary near Bilbao.

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It's not known if they are taking with them a supply of Irn-Bru and Tunnock’s caramel wafers but, like many expats, they will perhaps have a stash of Scottish Blend teabags with them, although everyone knows they never taste the same abroad.

As for the lingo, they’re sure to get by on pigeon Spanish: "Dos huevos por favor?”

Forest Enterprise Scotland ranger Alan Campbell said: "It feels really good to know that we have helped reintroduce these magnificent birds to another part of the world where they have been struggling to hold on.”

Such positive developments in international relations are refreshing. We should call it Breggsit.

It’s been a bad week for ... pet owners

Pet translators could one day be available to buy. Apparently, communication devices which can understand and translate different barks and miaows are expected soon.

According to a report commissioned to coincide with the launch of Amazon's Shop The Future online store, smart collars that allow dogs to communicate with humans are on the horizon.

Owners will be able to record themselves saying phrases in their pet’s “voice” and link each phrase with a certain behaviour, recognised by the collar’s “three-axis accelerometer”, which analyses movements. When the dog barks, the collar could say “I’m hungry” or “walkies”.

Has anyone told those tech developers that the reason man’s best friend is man’s best friend is because he doesn’t talk back?

Can you imagine being party to your canine companion’s innermost thoughts? That beautiful relationship could be in the doghouse once you’ve learned that he can’t stand your taste in music, thinks your friends are morons and – he hates to have to tell you this – but you have bad breath.

A dog that talks back? Sorry, that’s just barking.