Put in a spin

THE death of American singer Glen Campbell reminds broadcaster Paul Coia of when he interviewed the great Glen at Radio Clyde. Recalled Paul: “My boss at Clyde, Andy Park, took me aside and said, ‘This man’s a star. Don’t cock it up’.

“The live chat went well until I played his album. He sounded like a chipmunk on helium. I looked down to find my colleague Tim Stevens on the floor having crawled in and changed the speed behind my back. Glen fortunately laughed. ‘That’s the demo I recorded before my voice broke’. A gracious, charming man.”

Hard to swallow

GOING on holiday can be stressful. Mount Vernon reader Maureen Lanigan tells us her brother John was in a Greggs in Hastings when a wee Scottish woman behind him asked for a pie. When the assistant asked what kind, and she replied, “A Scotch pie!” the girl asked what that was.

“A wee roon pie wae mince in it!” replied the shocked customer, and John had to tell her they didn’t do them down in Hastings. “But it’s Greggs!” the perplexed woman replied. “They must do them!” before adding: “What are we going to eat!”

Organ recital

TALKING of holidays, Terry McGeary in East Kilbride muses: “Getting ready for a walking holiday in Slovenia, I applied for a new European Health Insurance card and was encouraged to make my pledge to Organ Donation. I was a bit perplexed as to their requirement for my mobile number. Surely it would just go to voicemail?”

Humour in uniform

A READER hears a chap in his Ayrshire golf club at the weekend tell fellow players: “I got stopped by the police and the officer asked me if I knew why he had pulled me over.

“I just replied, ‘Well I have a few ideas, but I’d like to hear your suggestion first’.”

Eye for detail

GROWING old continued. Says Kate Woods: “Had to find my glasses in order to be able to read the label on the eye drops.

“And then tried to put them in with the specs still on.”

Cowards in Edinburgh

AS the Edinburgh Fringe continues, Tony Cowards, whose show Punderdog is at The Mash House, gets in touch to say: “My ambition is to open the World’s Best Pub for Short People, but I fear I may have set the bar too high.”

One step at a time

OUR story about classes in prison remind Barham Brummage in Bathgate: “A colleague teaching technical in Shotts Prison suggested making Christmas presents.

“One inmate said he would like to make something that would ensure his wife and weans had a happy Christmas. ‘What’s that?’ asked my colleague, thinking sledges and little wooden toys. ‘A ******* ladder,’ replied the inmate.”

No hosepipe required

FOSTER Evans reads the headline on the BBC’s news website: “Drunken sailor fined and suspended” and he thinks: “Well that’s one mystery from primary school singing solved.”

Ringing endorsement

AFTER our story about exam results, Sue Forsyth in Bearsden says: “I was chatting to my neighbours as they waited at the gate with their son looking anxiously for the postman. As he approached with the important envelope his phone rang, and he said, ‘That’s another one phoning me for their results’.”