Purple prose
OUR tale about Led Zeppelin reminds David Russell: “As a rookie cop I attended Edinburgh’s Carlton Hotel in the seventies with an older cop following a report of excessive noise from a suite.
“We found an after-gig party by mega rockers Deep Purple in full flow. ‘Turn the noise down son!’ said the older officer. ‘But we’re Deep Purple!’
“’I don’t care whit colour you are son, turn it down or somebody’s getting lifted,’ he replied.”
Jock Stein pitches an idea
WE mentioned taciturn footballers, and Carole Craig tells us: “My late dad worked with the STV Outside Broadcasting Unit, which included setting up all the camera and electrical equipment for football matches. One evening he came home and told us rather excitedly, ‘Jock Stein spoke to me today’. We asked in awe, ‘What did he say?’ Dad replied, ‘You and your men get aff ma pitch’.”
Sean has a ball
OUR Bruce Forsyth story was about a pro/celebrity golf match at Gleneagles. Mandy Struthers in Uddingston recalls: “Sean Connery was taking it very seriously and there was a huge gallery watching him. He came up to try and sink a 15foot putt - silence all round. As he addressed the ball a Glaswegian elderly female voice rang out, ‘Gaun yersel Sean’. Connery laughed and threw his club in the air.
“American actor Steve Forrest didn’t have anyone following him round the course, so he asked my son, who was 11, to follow him , which he did until he got bored and followed Brucie and Jimmy Tarbuck instead.”
Scraping the bottom
UNUSUAL insurance claims continued. Ian Gray in Croftamie tells us he was sailing on Hillend reservoir near Airdrie in the Flying 15s class when the water was very low and old cottages flooded by the reservoir were near the surface.
One of the boats scraped along the chimney pot of a cottage and the resultant insurance claim had the insurance company rep declaring that he knew Flying 15s were fast, but didn’t think they could take to the air.
Summer in the city
WELL that’s a disappointing summer almost over. A Glasgow reader overheard a young woman tell her pal: “Glad I didn’t bother getting my summer body this year.”
Bit of a sew-and-sew
SOMEHOW we wandered into the world of Lex McLean’s jokes at the Glasgow Pavilion. John Sword recalls: “He once declared that he came from a musical family. His brother played the piano, both his parents were in a choir, and he added, ‘Even my mother’s sewing machine is a Singer’.
“I told that joke to a young person and she hadn’t a clue what I was on about.”
Dark humour
CAN’T believe we’re dipping into cannibal jokes, but because of the eclipse this week, a reader says: “An astronomer in a jungle to observe an eclipse was captured by cannibals. To gain his freedom he plans to pose as a god and threaten to extinguish the sun if he’s not released, so he asks his guard what time they plan to kill him.
“’Tradition has it that captives are to be killed when the sun reaches the highest point in the sky,’ he replied.
“The astronomer was delighted, as that fitted in with his plans, until the guard added, ‘But because everyone’s so excited about it, we’re going to wait until after the eclipse’.”
Why are you making commenting on The Herald only available to subscribers?
It should have been a safe space for informed debate, somewhere for readers to discuss issues around the biggest stories of the day, but all too often the below the line comments on most websites have become bogged down by off-topic discussions and abuse.
heraldscotland.com is tackling this problem by allowing only subscribers to comment.
We are doing this to improve the experience for our loyal readers and we believe it will reduce the ability of trolls and troublemakers, who occasionally find their way onto our site, to abuse our journalists and readers. We also hope it will help the comments section fulfil its promise as a part of Scotland's conversation with itself.
We are lucky at The Herald. We are read by an informed, educated readership who can add their knowledge and insights to our stories.
That is invaluable.
We are making the subscriber-only change to support our valued readers, who tell us they don't want the site cluttered up with irrelevant comments, untruths and abuse.
In the past, the journalist’s job was to collect and distribute information to the audience. Technology means that readers can shape a discussion. We look forward to hearing from you on heraldscotland.com
Comments & Moderation
Readers’ comments: You are personally liable for the content of any comments you upload to this website, so please act responsibly. We do not pre-moderate or monitor readers’ comments appearing on our websites, but we do post-moderate in response to complaints we receive or otherwise when a potential problem comes to our attention. You can make a complaint by using the ‘report this post’ link . We may then apply our discretion under the user terms to amend or delete comments.
Post moderation is undertaken full-time 9am-6pm on weekdays, and on a part-time basis outwith those hours.
Read the rules hereLast Updated:
Report this comment Cancel