It’s been a good week for ... pets

You’ve assembled the Billy bookcase, bought the scented candle holders and eaten the meatballs. Now you can extend the Ikea love to your furry friends. Ever attentive to our daily household needs, the Swedish furniture gurus are now launching a pet range. Called Lurvig, it will cater for Felix and Fido’s every soft furnishing need. There are special beds and cushions and, being super organised as only Ikea can be, there are items that can be integrated with other (human) furniture ranges. There’s even a cat scratch mat that wraps conveniently around a table leg.

The fun doesn’t end there, however, and litter trays and feeding equipment will also be available. And for the pet about town, there are specially designed carriers.

Moreover, your four-legged friends needn’t cost an arm and a leg. The most expensive item – a snazzy cat house on legs – will cost £40. So, will Ikea be opening its doors to these new customers so they can have a browse, buy pointless rattan ornaments and eat loganberry pet treats? Certainly, a tracker dog would come in handy when negotiating the in-store maze.

But Fido and Felix will have to be patient. Lurvig will not hit our shores until March 2018. Plenty of time then to train your faithful friends in the art of flatpack assembly. Like the rest of us mere humans, this will probably drive them barking mad.

It’s been a bad week for ... vegetables

From Swedes to turnips. With Halloween approaching (and humans getting fat), excited children are turning their attention to guising and carving lanterns from Scotland’s most unwieldy of vegetables (please, young people, enlist the help of an adult so they can hack their thumb off). Except that was 30 years ago ... now it’s all tricking, treating and pumpkins thanks to influences from across the pond.

Already the shops are full of baseball-sized orange globes ready to light up the spookiest night of the year. But be warned: there is a dark side to this seemingly innocent squash. Zero Waste Scotland has issued a warning over the frightful number of pumpkins that are binned each year. Research has revealed that 1.8 million were carved in Scotland last year, but more than 1.1 million were thrown away afterwards – enough pumpkin to stretch from Edinburgh to Stornoway. The anti-waste group says it would be much better for the environment if some of those went into a pumpkin pie or soup.

But there’s a hitch. A study conducted by the organisation found that most people don’t know how to cook one.

If we’re a nation of such culinary tumshies, can I suggest we revert to turnip carving? Surely everyone can turn their hand to haggis, neeps and tatties.