Rise and shine

A HAPPY New Year of course to all Diary readers and we hope the hangover is not too painful. It reminds us of when the late, great, after-dinner speaker Sandy Strang said that in some of the more challenging areas of Glasgow, heavy imbibers would drink vodka and Windolene - it still gave you a hangover the next day, but at least your eyes were sparkling.

Nature calls

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AND snow at the weekend as well which was great for the weans digging out their sledges from the garage. But as one mother told us: "Nobody has to pee more than a small child moments after you have wrestled them into a onesie snow-suit."

No flaking out

TALKING of the snow, Glasgow Airport had to close for two hours on Friday morning while it cleared the runways with bulldozers. As burlesque dancer Cherry Fox put it: "Ha! Three snowflakes and London grinds to a confused halt, but a ton of snow and Glasgow airport says, 'We just gotta shovel this snow hen, go grab a tea and come back in a wee min'."

Swim for it

DID you see Jack McLaughlin bringing back his old Thingummyjig show on STV last night? Naturally he looked a lot older, as a few years have past since it was last on. Don't forget that Jack was a pioneer broadcaster on the pirate radio station Radio Scotland - I can still remember the jaunty ditty, "Radio Scotland's playing just for you. So beat the ban and join the clan on station 242." Anyway Jack once claimed that when the boat the pirate radio was broadcast from was anchored off Troon, the bold Jack swam to Arran to get a drink in a pub as booze was banned on the ship, other than a daily ration of two bottles of beer.

Highlights of note

SCOTTISH singer Lewis Capaldi has a new record out, and a fan who has just discovered his music, Mackenzie Moffat, took to social media to declare her love of the record stating: "Lewis, where have you been all my life?"

The Scots singer himself replied: "I was born in Glasgow, was a child for a few years, went to school for a bit, got decent grades nothing spectacular, left half-way through ma last year, went to study music at college for a bit and now I'm trying to convince people I can be a singer - that's you all up to speed."

Paper

WE asked what other British stalwarts Brexiters might want to bring back now that we have been promised that the blue British passport will return. John Martin in East Kilbride says: "What about resurrecting San Izal toilet paper in primary school toilets. One week of kids using what felt and looked like tracing paper to clean themselves after using the toilet would have them screaming at their parents the folly of voting leave."

What's in a name?

GORDON Casely tells us that Devenick Dairy in Aberdeenshire is producing its own style of that great Greek cheese Feta. So as not to be confused with the crumbly Mediterranean delicacy the dairy, with a nod to Aberdeenshire pronunciation, has called it "Fet Like".

Being prepared

DAFT line from a Hyndland reader who emailed at the weekend: "There are 358 days until Christmas yet already there are people who have their Christmas lights up. Unbelievable."

Cold shoulder

AND an Ayrshire reader tells us that one of the senior members who made it along to the clubhouse at the weekend felt the need to declare: "It’s so cold this morning I saw a socialist with his hands in his own pockets."