OMG
SOME questions can be a bit of a challenge. Taking a break from a lengthy tour of America with the traditional music group the Tannahill Weavers, musician Roy Gullane went to the reception desk of his American hotel and asked if he could have his boarding pass for his flight back to Europe printed out.
"No problem sir," said the receptionist. "What airline is it?" "KLM," replied Roy.
"Can you spell that for me please?"
Hand it to him
WE asked for your embarrassing moments and a reader tells us: "Putting on an oven glove and opening the oven door with it then trying to take out the roasting-hot dish with my other ungloved hand."
Between the covers
THE Herald obituary of award-winning author VS Naipaul omitted the great story of why award-winning American travel writer Paul Theroux fell out with him, and never spoke to him for 30 years. Paul had really looked up to Naipaul who had encouraged him in his early writing years, so had happily sent him a copy of his latest book when it was published, signed "Dedicated to VS, With Love, Paul." Months later Theroux found it for sale on a rare books website for $1500.
Let's face it
EXCELLENT reply from college worker Amy Fowler who revealed on social media: "Doing my make-up on the train this morning and a random man told me he likes women to have a more natural look. I told him I like men to have a more silent look."
Island hop
OUR tales of Millport, recently dubbed Scotland's most beautiful town, reminds a reader of the story in The Herald years ago of the Scottish Ambulance Service launching an investigation into why a 75-year-old patient at hospital in Paisley was driven home, mistakenly, to Cumbrae View on the island of Bute rather than Cumbrae Drive, Millport, which is of course on the island of Cumbrae. Why the story stuck in his mind was the doughty old lady telling The Herald that she was miffed, not just because they took her to the wrong island, but the fact that they thought she was senile and didn't know where she lived when she protested.
Testing times
THE row over testing primary school children in Scotland reminds Moira Campbell: "At the end of primary one the class I was in had a Big Sums Test and I scored only five out of a very large number, which led to my mum being summoned to the school. It was years later before I confessed that I did the first five, got them right, was bored, and just wrote any old numbers in the remaining sums. So I opted out of testing all by myself."
Day to remember
THE "Those Were The Days" picture in The Herald of that great Glasgow group The Beatstalkers reminds John Woods of nipping down, when he was a pupil at the old St Mungo's Academy, to see the group at their infamous lunchtime gig at George Square which turned into a mini riot and was halted by the police.
There was however an unexpected bonus for John and his mates. As regulars at the Dennistoun Palais they were invited to stand in front of the stage and repel frenzied female fans when the group played there weeks later. It was unpaid work but, as John fondly reminisces,it is the only time lust-crazed women have thrown themselves at him.
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