Do we really do it to ourselves (Auto Suggestion?)

We all know that negative feeling. The irrational feeling something isn’t going to go well.

And, no matter how much logical, concrete positive evidence you can stack up to show that things are on track, there is still that nagging voice inside that says exactly the contrary.

It may be public speaking, competing in sports or simply putting on your makeup and donning your glad rags for a night out. But, no matter how much preparation you may have done or how well you know your topic or confident you are in your technique - no amount of reason or reassurance can make that feeling go away.

So, why do we do it to ourselves?

Such negative emotions come from a place deep within our subconscious minds, a place where we experienced it before and it has now become an automatic response whenever a similar situation arises.

For example- a classic one of mine is the ability to feel like Doreen from Birds of a Feather every time I wear a dress or skirt that’s even nearly as short as my fingertips hanging by my side. And, heaven forbid it’s tight as well OR there is a glimpse of Décolletage.

This undoubtedly comes from my grandmother’s views on what is the acceptable amount of skin which is allowed to be on show and the direct association with looking like a lady of the night. This feeling was recently reinforced when, at a recent function, I forgot my dress and had to pop out to buy another. The only hitch was that it was a size 6! Thank the lord for stretchy fabric. But let’s just say the Transformation to Doreen was pretty much complete!) Our subconscious mind is such a clever, powerful tool when it works in the way we want it to. But it can also cause us all sorts of trouble and place untold limitations on our lives when we get stuck in those old entrenched emotional reactions which are usually laden with guilt or result in our self-esteem being pummelled to a pile of smoosh..

But, never fear, change is just around the corner.

It has been proven by psychologists over centuries that we can indeed change the way we think and train ourselves to improve our personal growth.

By developing skills such as positive visualisation, affirmation and suggestion we can indeed overcome those debilitating behaviours and instead grow in to the roles and people we dare to dream about.

Positive visualisation is a priceless skill, so priceless indeed that It's and integral part when training astronauts. But for us mere earthlings perfecting the perfect pitch at work. In sport for amateurs and professional alike it's incredibly valuable- the mind believes what the mind sees, so inputting positive information is always going to help create a more positive outcome.

When creating your vision, you have to be able to actually conjure up the emotional responses to go along with it. You need to explore every detail of it and, by doing it, on a regular basis these positive emotions will start to become an automatic feeling.

Adding an affirmation to the mix will make a marked difference The most commonly used affirmative message is: “Every day in every way I am getting better and better” said 10 times morning and night.

Sceptics imagine visualisation to be like daydreaming. And that is where the majority of people go wrong when they are trying to make a change and many lack the discipline required to get that automatic response.

I describe this part of the change like having learned just enough French to go on holiday and then discovering that you can speak English when you get there. Instinctively, you would want to speak with your native tongue (or maybe use a bit of Del Boy with a hint of Franglais). But if you practise your new language in such an environment you would very soon become fluent. It would become second nature and you would no longer have to think about it. It would have become automatic. But it takes discipline and commitment.

And for anyone who doubts the power of Auto Suggestion or the amazing results I have seen with many different clients who have perfected positive visualization my response is always the same “ If its good enough for NASA- then its good enough for me”

So go on, dare to dream.

Sandie Sandie Robertson is a respected lifestyle and confidence coach and #1 bestselling author of “I Believe I can” An expert If want to work with Sandie you contact her at info@sandierobertson.com