ALWAYS Ms. Never Miss or Mrs, is my stance. It seems fairly unarguable that after centuries of using an honorific to specify to whom a woman is beholden, women might want to throw off the yoke and plump for an alternative.
Of course, that’s not the case. I know plenty of women who love being a Miss and many more for whom being a Mrs is of great import.
If you, like me, are a Ms then you can thank Sheila Michaels, the American feminist campaigner who died last week. Ms Michaels used the prefix as a symbol of a woman’s right not to be defined by her relationship to a man. If you are not like me then you might think the matter is pointless frippery.
I wonder what you would think about the prefix Mx. It, like Ms, is certainly not new. First emerging in the 1970s, the M comes from the first letter of those other honorifics and the x denotes an unknown quality. Mx is for those who do not identify as male or female or would rather their gender is unknown.
I’ve noticed it popping up more often recently, both in the media and in real life, as labelling and gender become the hot button topic.
Transport for London has just announced it is ditching “ladies and gentlemen” from its station announcements and will “issue reminders to staff” who continue to slip up and say the phrase. Instead, “hello everyone” will be used. The idea is to make stations inclusive and welcoming for all, no matter which gender you identify with.
For most, gender is two things: male or female, with a tiny number born outside the binary. Actually, that’s sex. Gender, arguably a social construct, is fluid and comes tie dye, not monochrome. Some feminists are fully behind the erasing of gender. Gender tropes, they believe, create a power imbalance in which men benefit and women lose. If you break down gender, you break down the barriers that hamper women.
Other are more cautious of – or oppose – the notion, arguing if we fail to protect the definition of “women” then women’s spaces and women’s right, long fought for, are at risk.
No matter which your stance, gender issues are making unavoidable headlines.
We have gender neutral toilets in Scottish schools. More than 100 schools across the UK have adopted gender neutral uniforms. A Canadian baby was issued a health card with the designation U after its parent, who Piers Morgan tackled on Good Morning Britain, declined to have the child registered male or female.
Last year Will Smith’s son Jaden Smith was the face of Louis Vuitton’s womenswear. Facebook has 70 gender designations. Charity Stonewall is campaigning to have a gender neutral X option on British passports.
Ms was once a bold, political stance. Now, as women’s rights have advanced, fewer women care. Choice has become the thing, not the label. For gender, choice is now the thing and the labels are to be expanded or shunned altogether.
Sheila Michaels, in describing her campaign for wider acknowledgement of Ms, said: “There was no place for me.” Of the first time she had seen the honorific written down, she said: “Ms is me.”
For marginalised groups, language matters. Words and labels are powerful. As with gender-specific honorifics, these things will matter to some and be frivolous nonsense to others.
But as Ms Michaels pointed out, the way we label ourselves is important. If you doubt that, you may have to change your perspective as gender issues come to a school, passport or station announcement near you.
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