Trumped in Edinburgh
STV Holyrood editor Colin Mackay, hosting the Politician of the Year awards in Edinburgh last night, couldn’t help having a go at Presidential candidate Donald Trump. Said Colin: “You know if you go to Turnberry, you’ll see the giant portrait of Trump there. His hands seem to follow you around the room.”
And connecting Trump to a recent news story, Colin remarked: “He wants to build a wall with Mexico ... when he’s finished that he’s been hired by the Edinburgh Schools Partnership.”
Brief way of telling age
GROWING old, continued. Glasgow reader Arnold Bell tells us: “At the golf club we call it the underpants test. The question of how old you are is answered by whether you can still pass the underpants test. In other words, can you put them on without having to sit down?”
Ringing the changes
OUR criticism of mobile phones at the dinner table brings forth this defence from Neil Dunn: “There is an upside. No one now has to get up from the table to answer the house phone as it never rings. Long live the mobile.”
A bit of a turn-off
HOW life changes. Says Tom Rafferty: “Packed bus home. Young woman beside me on phone arguing with her boyfriend. ‘You’ve done nothing all day. You didn’t even wash the dishes.’ He then tells her something else and she says, ‘Five episodes? Lazy b******. I’m changing the Netflix password’. She clicks off the call and goes to Netflix on her phone. Modern life, eh?”
Legal challenge
A GLASGOW reader hears a young chap in his local tell his pals his tale of woe. “So when the officer asked me how much I’d had to drink, it turns out that ‘All of it’ wasn’t as funny to him as it was to me.”
Sweet Carolina
STORIES you may have missed. A woman in North Carolina wanted to show her husband that lotteries were a waste of money by spending his cash on a $10 scratch card. She scratched it off in front of him – and won a million dollars.
As Glenda Blackwell put it: “I had to eat my words – but those are pretty good words to eat.”
Vote early, vote often
A PETITION on the UK Government’s website states: “Scotland had their referendum to be independent. The SNP want to remain in the EU against the will of English and Welsh voters. Therefore I believe England, Wales and Northern Ireland should get the chance to have their referendum to vote Scotland out of the UK” It has already received nearly 9,000 votes, and at 10,000 the Government will have to give a response.
Curiously, an analysis of the votes shows that the majority have come from Scotland.
Training the youngsters
A JORDANHILL reader says his teenage son doing his maths homework asked him: “Why do we need to work out what time trains arrive? ScotRail have an app on your phone for that.”
Gone for a Barton
MIXED views from Rangers fans on whether Joey Barton, who met management yesterday, should remain with the club. We like the summation of supporter William Wilson who says: “My view on whether Rangers need Joey Barton swings from week to week. We win, don’t need him. Don’t win, we need him.”
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