Sound advice
SCOTRAIL, says John Mulholland, has started making announcements at stations, advising customers to stay safe by looking up occasionally from their smartphones.
That’s all very well, he says, but what about the customers who can’t hear the announcement because they’re wearing headphones?
And does it apply if one is reading The Diary?
Trump in fog horn alert
AND still, for some reason we can’t quite put our finger on, the Donald Trump anecdotes come in.
Iain Maciver alerts the Diary to the fact marine equipment specialists Gael Force Marine, up in Inverness, are marketing a Trump Manual Fog Horn.
Apparently it “makes a whole lot of noise without the hot air”.
Yours for just £7.99.
The wrong man
INTERESTING little story from Tony (Baldrick) Robinson’s memoirs, No Cunning Plan.
He and his daughter, Laura, then aged 10, spent a day at Alton Towers but were pursued by an ever-increasing crowd of youthful obsessives, eager to get his autograph, “touching me like lepers round the hem of the Messiah”, but unable to identify exactly who he was. Eventually, Tony and Laura, fatigued by the constant clamour, decided to call it a day and head for the exit, still pursued by cries of “I’ve seen you in summit, haven’t I?”and “Are you that bloke?”
This was bad enough but one young enthusiast, evidently having established the fleeing celebrity’s name to his own satisfaction, rubbed salt into Tony’s wound, shouting, “Timmy! Timmy! Where’s your mallet?”
Pick of the bunch
FLICKING through Tony’s book, our attention was caught by a passage that speaks to his admirable sang-froid professionalism.
During a Time Team shoot, a somewhat nervous metal detectorist had come across a very rare coin, a quarter laurel from the reign of King James 1.
Tony, approaching him and asking to see the coin, noticed a sizeable dewdrop hanging from the end of the man’s nose. It was getting larger by the second.
Thus it was that Tony’s outstretched palm received not only the coin but the dewdrop too. Fighting back an impulse to throw up his breakfast, Tony merely said: “Gosh, that is interesting. Let’s have a look at the other side.” We assume he’s talking about the coin there.
Singing for your supper
THE Crow Tavern in Bishopbriggs, a community pub that offers food and live entertainment, is promoting a Cher tribute night next month.
A Diary reader can’t help but feel that the Crow has missed a trick with its ad. Given that the night also involves food, he says, wouldn’t it have been better to advertise it as Cher and Cher Alike?
Winning nil-nil
TERRACING shouts, more of.
Stuart Russell remembers a Rous Cup match at Hampden in the 1980s when Scotland were playing the boys from Brazil.
“At one point,” he says, “Scotland were square-passing the ball around in their own half for about two minutes (amazing, I know ... ) when someone shouted, ‘Take a leaf out of that, Brazil!’”
This might have been the same match at which someone who arrived late and asked the score was told: “We’re winning nil-nil.” It couldn’t last, of course.
Why are you making commenting on The Herald only available to subscribers?
It should have been a safe space for informed debate, somewhere for readers to discuss issues around the biggest stories of the day, but all too often the below the line comments on most websites have become bogged down by off-topic discussions and abuse.
heraldscotland.com is tackling this problem by allowing only subscribers to comment.
We are doing this to improve the experience for our loyal readers and we believe it will reduce the ability of trolls and troublemakers, who occasionally find their way onto our site, to abuse our journalists and readers. We also hope it will help the comments section fulfil its promise as a part of Scotland's conversation with itself.
We are lucky at The Herald. We are read by an informed, educated readership who can add their knowledge and insights to our stories.
That is invaluable.
We are making the subscriber-only change to support our valued readers, who tell us they don't want the site cluttered up with irrelevant comments, untruths and abuse.
In the past, the journalist’s job was to collect and distribute information to the audience. Technology means that readers can shape a discussion. We look forward to hearing from you on heraldscotland.com
Comments & Moderation
Readers’ comments: You are personally liable for the content of any comments you upload to this website, so please act responsibly. We do not pre-moderate or monitor readers’ comments appearing on our websites, but we do post-moderate in response to complaints we receive or otherwise when a potential problem comes to our attention. You can make a complaint by using the ‘report this post’ link . We may then apply our discretion under the user terms to amend or delete comments.
Post moderation is undertaken full-time 9am-6pm on weekdays, and on a part-time basis outwith those hours.
Read the rules hereLast Updated:
Report this comment Cancel