A bit of a pantomime
IT really is that time of year as the Glasgow Pavilion panto, Elfie’s Magical Adventure, starts this Thursday. The show’s stars Liam Dolan and Grado had a television interview last week, and arrived at the studios in costume – Grado in a multi-coloured, Lego-inspired outfit and Liam dressed as an elf, complete with pointy ears.
It says a lot about Glasgow that, when they arrived, they were asked: “Do you need a dressing room to get changed?”

A vote for England
IT was the Women for Independence annual meeting in Perth at the weekend and Deedee Cuddihy tells us: “A feisty 70-year-old member from Skye told the audience, ‘We need to get England on our side in our fight for independence by pointing out some of the advantages to them. For instance, we’ll vote for your song at Eurovision even if it’s pish’.”

Thumbs up for driver
A BARRHEAD reader tells us he was surprised when his daughter passed her driving test first time despite her difficulty in remembering her left from her right. When he congratulated her she explained that she had painted her left thumb with lilac nail varnish and her right thumb with red varnish. Thus when she was asked to turn left or right she looked at her thumbs on the steering wheel and remembered L for lilac and left, and R for red and right.

What’s my line?
JOHN Park in Lanarkshire tells us about a local teenager finishing school and taking a year off before going to university. He decided to take a temporary job with ScotRail in order to get some cash. Friends immediately dubbed it his “mind-the-gap year”.

Drinking it all in
OUR mention of wedding speeches reminds Anne Cormack in Pitlochry: “As was the custom 50 years ago, our wedding meal started with a toast to the Queen. Cue for my elderly, but mischievous, Aberdonian great-aunt, to comment in a loud voice, ‘What are we toasting her for? She never gave them a present’.”

Wasted journey
TERRACING shouts continued. Says Paul McElhone in Beckenham: “Celtic midfielder Alan Thompson impressed to such an extent that suggestions were made that he should be capped by England, and the then England manager, Sven-Goran Eriksson, made his way to the east end to watch the man himself.
“Within the opening five minutes, Thompson’s first touch of the ball skittered off his foot and in all likelihood ended up bouncing its way down London Road.
“A shout was heard in the stand, ‘Taxi for Ericsson!’”

Icy treat
NEXT month sees the 50th anniversary of the opening of the Aviemore Centre tourist attraction. Dugald MacAngus, the then catering manager, tells us they ran out of ice to chill the champagne bottles at the opening, but it was so cold the water fountains in the square had frozen over so they took pick-axes to the fountains and filled several dustbins with ice and put the champagne in the bins.
Any other memories of Aviemore?

Everyone’s a critic
A SOUTH side reader was on a bus into Glasgow when the chap sitting next to him, who appeared to be in a bit of a hurry, told him: “I think this is the Glasgow version of the film Speed, only in this version the driver thinks the bus will blow up if he goes over 15 mph.”